First Fee Paid!

For all our previous adoptions, in the left sidebar I kept a running calculation of our adoption costs. I'll be starting that again today! 

Yesterday I sent off our first check to our adoption agency. $2263 that will cover submission and translating of our request for a waiting child. This is our introduction to the specific country where the child is located, requesting her referral. It will take a couple of weeks before we have an answer.  When we do we'll be able to tell you what country, and whether its a boy or girl! 

Next stop: Get moving with a home study! 

Why are we here?

About a month ago I posted what was...I guess...a cryptic post. 

I don’t know if people actually read blogs anymore, so they may have not realized it was a link to this blog. 

They also may not have realized this is our adoption blog. 

The adoption blog where I have journaled all our previous adoption journeys. I *only* post where when we’re adopting. 

So, removing all mystery, yes, we are adopting again! 

From where? I can’t tell you yet, because we aren’t yet approved. 

Who? I can’t tell you yet, because we aren’t yet approved. 

When? Well the process is started, but it takes a very long time. So, about a year before we bring the mystery child home. Also, because some of our other kids are still doing distance learning, and really I’m doing my own curriculum, it is taking me forever to get paperwork done! 

What I can tell you is this: Before we can start the process we must apply to the country in question and ask if they will accept us with my history of breast cancer. Once we get that approval, then I can say the “where” part. 

We’re very excited. Waiting a whole year will be difficult. The longest adoption process we’ve ever had - except for Amos but he was already in our home. 

Yawn and Stretch

Time to wake up the blog!!! 

I’ve heard that Blogger is the “platform of the 2000’s and SOoooo outdated.” But, it’s what I’m familiar with and I don’t really feel like changing. If you’re new to our family, you may want to check old posts to find out what this blog is about! 

The End!

With four adoptions and five kids with Down syndrome, that's it. We're done. Audrey completes our family. I am closing the doors on this blog, but would love if you'd follow along on our family blog as Angela, Axel, Abel, Asher, Audrey, Dean and I learn to be a family together. We  have lots of adventures ahead of us in our little Garden of Eagan. Come join us there!

HOME!

When we arrived in Minneapolis we were the very last people off the plane. I figured Dean would wonder what happened to us so I plopped Audrey into a nearby wheelchair, handed Axel the roller bag and off we went! It wasn't very far so we were happy to be able to move around! When we got to the escalator I told Axel, "Papa is right down here Ax! He's right through those doors!"

Now, this the same door we go through every time we arrive at the airport. Every time! Imagine my surprise when we come through the doors and there is no Dean! Seriously? In my head we were going to have "that moment" coming through the doors and now it was gone. LOL Then I heard someone calling my name and realized my friend Nance and some of her kids were coming toward us with welcome home posters and balloons!

 It was so nice to see them! But…where was my family?? I called Dean "Where ARE you?"

This is us, wondering WHERE is our family???

They were waiting at the OTHER end of the terminal, by the door for international flights!

"Dean, I came from DC, I didn't come on an international flight. Have I *ever* come through that door?"

Dean and the kids, rushing to the other end of the terminal! LOL

…..sigh….

I was trying really hard not to be irritated. I turned and noticed my bags on one of the carousels, so Nance helped me grab them. Suddenly I heard Axel behind me yell, "PAPA!!!!" The next thing I knew, Angela giving me the best hug ever!

These pictures are in no particular order but I'll put notes with them.

Angela hugged me long and hard, then a few minutes later hugged me again. Then she stood back, wiping her eyes, "Why am I crying???" she said. It was so sweet.

Abel wasn't really thrilled with the fact I was home. 

 Not sure who missed who more.

Finally, I handed Audrey over to meet her Papa for the first time! 

Angela asking "Why am I crying?" as she wipes her eyes again. She's so sweet. 

Angela and Axel had a very long conversation. Actually, I think Angela was telling him all that had happened while we were gone, and he was just being a good ear. I love how she leans down to talk to him, as if he is still much smaller than her. LOL

Our first family picture! 

Finally, all suitcases and kids accounted for, it was time for us to go HOME.

Thanks so much to my friends Nance and Becky for taking pictures for us at the airport! The kids loved the posters you made too!

Getting Home

With each of our adoptions, the trip home has been an adventure of its own. This trip? Pretty boring! Boring is good!

I never sleep the night before we leave. I sit up packing, cleaning, drinking coke and generally just being really anxious to get moving. And, I'm sure the coke really helps that. ;-) The trickiest part is letting the kids sleep as late as possible while still having enough time to get them breakfast, dressed and ready to go, the suitcases down to the main entry of the building, and the last of the clean up done. We arrived at the airport, got checked in and to our gate, only needing to wait about 25 minutes before boarding.

Audrey was pretty afraid during the flights. This is the only look I got the whole trip home.

Before traveling I was really worried how I would manage feeding Audrey on the plane. It is an extremely messy process and difficult to contain that mess! I needn't have worried, because she wouldn't eat or drink for me the whole way. No, she was pretty scared, even during layovers.

I always get wheelchair assistance bringing my kids home. Axel, in particular, needs some assistance. When I'm traveling alone with him I can manage on my own, but traveling with Audrey and Axel together I needed an extra set of hands.  It makes getting around the airports, particularly a traumatized child, so much more simple and fast. In Vienna they were especially helpful and brought us through a totally different passport control area, screened our carry on, and had us right up to our gate in a matter of minutes. We only had to wait about 15 minutes before boarding our flight, which was great! We did get to watch two elderly women fight over which one was supposed to get in the wheelchair first. That was ..ummm…interesting.

That long flight was pretty uneventful. We flew Austrian Air for the first time, and the food was actually quite good, the flight attendants were very attentive, and it was just a good flight! Because of how much help Axel needed going up/down the isles when we went to Serbia, this time I requested seats either at a bulkhead, or in the very back close to the bathrooms. This proved to be a good move! I was able to go to the bathroom myself and still keep an eye on the kids while I was waiting. Not that they were going anywhere, but I sure felt better about it. We had plenty of room to move around and it was just generally a comfortable flight.

When we finally got to our gate in DC, it felt so good to be able to call Dean and work and let him know we were in the US, Audrey was now a citizen, and we were only a couple hours from home!!!

Getting on our last flight in DC, we had to go out on the tarmac and climb up the very steep steps of the plane. Yeah..umm…these were MUCH steeper than the plane to Belgrade. The flight staff is not allowed to physically assist a person up those stairs, so I had Axel ahead of me, pushing him with my shoulder in his butt, which carrying Audrey on my hip plus getting the carry on up the narrow steps. Fun times. But we did it, and all was well.

My only complaint about the entire trip is the immigration officer we dealt with in DC. I don't really understand it, but every single one, through four adoptions and two ports of entry, have been nothing but a bully. Not a single one has been friendly, and every single one has absolutely made up a reason to YELL at me, bully me, and threatened to make our entry into the country extremely difficult. They're just mean, and I think the Department of Homeland Security needs to have some kind of training in place to address that issue. I don't think they do. If they do, it doesn't matter. These officers know travelers are exhausted and easy to push around at this particular time.


Next stop? Home!

The Last Goodbye

One of the most difficult events I've ever participated in during the course of our adoptions was the last goodbye for Audrey.

On the second day of my visits to the foster home I was allowed to take Audrey for the day. We brought her back to our hotel room and played. (it was pouring rain or we would have gone and done some fun stuff!)

I was told what time to bring her back to the foster home, and that her birth family would be there to say goodbye.

I didn't know if I could do this. I didn't know if I could witness this event. It is a lot of heartache, and I just didn't know if I could do it.

We arrived at the foster home and her birth family arrived just a few minutes behind us. Her mother, aunt, and two teenage sisters. I had already been informed the birth father had passed away the year before.

We spent two hours visiting and playing charades to understand one another. It was a bit awkward, but not uncomfortable. I ended up leaving before the birth family did. I cannot imagine how difficult this was for them, and I'm glad they were able to have that time with Audrey without me there. They were able to say goodbye in their own way.

I have so much more I could say, but it is very private, and is Audrey's story. And her first family's story. We will be able to stay in contact should they decide to.

Adoption is trauma, in all kinds of different ways. 

Reuniting

As you have realized by reading the blog, Axel came along so he could meet with his birth family. But he came along for another reason too! Audrey was in the same foster home where Axel spent nearly three years. I knew his foster parents and extended family would be thrilled to see him, and I have had a feeling for awhile now that Axel wonders just what happened to those people he sees pictures of now and then. We didn't even have names for everyone so we couldn't help him retain the memory of their names.

Let me tell you about the first day we went to the foster home….

As you enter the city of Kragujevac, there are two large roundabouts. The second one has this Fiat sculpture in the middle.

When we arrived in this roundabout Axel got very excited. "House! House!" he signed, pointing in the direction of the foster home. It is right on the other side of this roundabout. To know he recognized where he was. Oh! I was so excited for him!

We pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. Just then the foster father came out the front door to the driveway. Axel saw him and RAN. He RAN to the father and threw his arms around him. Oh, I was in tears, our facilitator was in tears, the father had a tear in his eye.

We walked into the house and Axel strutted in like he had never left. He gave his foster mother a big, warm hug and said hello to those he remembered (social workers, etc.) Over the course of the next three days while we visited, every extended family member, along with close friends, came to say hello to Axel. Nobody could believe how much he'd grown, but even more…how he is just a typical teenager now. They gave him his favorite Serbian snacks, and loved on him for three days. Axel soaked it right up.

Before the trip I was nervous. Would Axel worry I was going to leave him behind? Would he want to stay there instead of coming with me? Would the emotions of this reunion be too much for him?

I needn't have worried. Axel understood why were were there, to "get the new sister Audrey", and that he would be staying with me. He truly loved seeing everyone, but was also ready to return to the hotel with me at the end of a visit. Axel understands we are his family, forever and always, and that in a land far away, on the other side of the world, are people who also love and cared for him, enough to let him go. 

Too Good to be True

Well, it was too good to be true. With all three of our previous adoptions we have managed to get all the Belgrade end of paper-chasing done in one day, fly out the next.

But that is not to be the case this time around.

There is a new woman preparing the passports, and she has not done one that was adoption related. She didn't have a clue what she was doing, and Z. swears she printed out the entire passport law to figure it out. It took two hours to get the passport. By then we'd missed both the medical appointment and our appointment at the Embassy.

Once that disappointment was over with, we picked up the translated documents, then had the visa pictures taken. We rescheduled the medical appointment for 7:45 pm tonight.

Tomorrow morning at 8:30 a.m. we'll have our appointment at the US Embassy and hopefully get the Visa without issue. Please pray for that. I've been warned by two embassy staff that in the past week they've been having problems with the system. Lovely.

Fortunately our plane tickets were purchased in such a way that we had one full business day to void them without penalty. Flights have been re-booked for Weds morning Belgrade time, with us arriving home at 7:00 pm Weds evening. (that's 18 hours travel time after you subtract the time difference.)