Carefully orchestrated series of events

Tomorrow (Monday March 17th) should be a very busy day. It is day known in the adoption community as "the paper chase". Now, part of this process happened on Friday in Audrey's birth city.

When the adoption ceremony was complete, we quickly walked three blocks to the police station where she was issued a new birth certificate, certificate of citizenship, the passport ordered and the necessary pictures taken. This whole process took a couple of hours, which is very typical. All of those steps had to be completed in order for the events of tomorrow to happen.

Now tomorrow, each step must happen in specific order or the subsequent steps will be postponed. Here is what the day *should* look like.

1) 12:45 Pick up translated adoption documents
2) 1:00 Pick up passport
3) 1:30 get Visa picture taken
4) 2:00 Have medical appointment
5) 2:30 return to apartment to complete USCIS form i260 online
6) 2:45 Embassy appointment.

The most crucial step for tomorrow is step 2, picking up the passport. If it happens the passport is not ready the rest of the day comes to a screeching halt and is postponed until Tuesday.

Assuming the passport is ready, the next critical piece is #6, the Embassy appointment. When we adopted Abel the embassy completed our paperwork and handed over his Visa in a matter of a couple hours. Usually this is a two-day thing, requiring the family to return to the embassy the next day. If we get the Visa tomorrow, we will be on a flight out very early Tuesday morning. If we  have to return on Tuesday morning for the Visa, we will fly out Tuesday afternoon.

I really do not want that Tuesday afternoon flight because it gets us home at 11:30 pm but that is only if all the flights are on time and there are no hold ups with Immigration like last time. But what I really want, more than anything, is to be on a plane…any plane…sometime Tuesday that is headed the direction of home!

The adoption has been VERY fast. From the day we committed until I arrive home with Audrey will be less than three months. The in-country process was 15 days, but we arrived early and will have been here 20 days. We're ready to go home. ;-)

On feeding

Oh my word. I thought Asher's tongue would drive me crazy when we adopted him. He sucked on it constantly, which built it up to twice the size it should have been, and he could do nothing else because he was constantly sucking his tongue. It took a few weeks of constantly giving him a different kind of oral input so he didn't feel the need to suck his tongue anymore, along with corrections when the habit overtook him. Not only was his tongue a really bad habit, but it caused major difficulties for him to eat anything other than pureed foods. He had no idea what to do with his tongue, and it took us two years of intensive feeding therapy to get him chewing well enough that I didn't have to send pureed foods in his school lunch! Today Asher chews most of his meals, with certain things like Pizza being foods we still puree. Oh, and he will gladly show you where the food grinder is in case you don't know.

Along comes Audrey. Many of you commented on how she looks so much different in this picture.

The only difference between that picture and others you've seen is her tongue. Audrey's tongue thrust is extremely strong, and she has been resistant to me touching her face or really doing any kind of physical cues to her face at all. She completely shuts down, moves to a corner and will have nothing to do with with me. And, since she can hold quite a grudge,  I decided not to push this issue anymore until we got  home.

But feeding…feeing is a big problem! I wondered how in the world I would feed her on the plane when the mess she makes covers a four foot radius! I did learn why she was so tiny when the foster family got her. In the institution her diet consisted mainly of pureed foods, but her tongue thrust is too strong for her to manage pureed foods, so most of it got pushed out of her mouth. In an attempt to find out just where her feeding and oral motor skills were at, this was one of our attempts at pureed foods. Please note the towel covering the chair. After this session I started feeding her in the hotel shower so we didn't get food on every possible surface.

Feeding was difficult, and frustrating. In the foster home she learned to eat solid foods, but the technique left something to be desired. It was a bit like watching a wild animal eat. Now she needed to learn to take single bites, chew and swallow before stuffing more into her mouth. This is a common problem for post institutional children, and it can be very frustrating to deal with. With all of our kids I have started by my feeding them every bite of food. Not only does this teach them a different rate of speed to eat, but it's also good bonding. It helps the child learn that every bite of food comes from mom or dad.

I've noticed a few things. Audrey can't eat pureed foods because she doesn't know where the food is in her mouth. Her tongue is looking for it, which causes the increased tongue thrust. Here is a video of her eating bananas one week ago (March 9th) you'll notice her tongue come snaking out of her mouth as she's trying to move the bananas around. That tongue is the reason for all the mess. You'll also notice she doesn't close her lips on the fork, instead using her tongue and kind of scraping with her teeth to get the banana off the fork.


I've also discovered she does really well with crunchy foods, like cheerios. They give her a lot of input so she can feel where they're at in her mouth, and there is very little tongue thrust when she eats them. In an effort to give her increased input with other foods, while at the same time using up all the pureed foods I brought along, I've been adding cheerios or other crunchy things to her foods.

Today for lunch we had…well…it was supposed to be like goulash, but whatever. Soft noodles are something she has trouble with so I added some dry corn flakes to the stuff just go give some hard bits for her to feel. The results are wonderful! Is she using her lips perfectly? No, but wow! Look, her tongue doesn't come snaking out and she isn't loosing 1/2 the food from just letting it fall out!


The other thing we've been working on is keeping her tongue in her mouth during other parts of the day. Like all day. In the foster home she always wore an infant drool bib because the drool was constant.  Guess what! She is doing it! Her tongue is in her mouth at least 90% of the time! And guess what else! When her tongue is not hanging to her chin she's not drooling all over the place. She also likes to lick her hands and arms, but that is just not allowed anymore. "You are a beautiful little girl, and beautiful little girls don't lick themselves." No, she can't understand a word I was saying to her, but I hope she understood my tone of voice.

Now we're at a point we hit with Asher. Her tongue is in her mouth all day, and her mouth not hanging open, so now she thinks its impossible to make any of her singing or happy noises. Keeping her jaw from hanging open, and her tongue in, is not comfortable yet, and actually takes a lot of work, so she can't even consider that she can still make noise. I'm missing her happy noises, which she has a lot of since she is a very happy little girl. I know they will be back very soon as she discovers this is not so horrible after all.

Introducing

Today

March 14, 2014

5095 miles from home

in 

Kragujevac, Serbia

one little girl became a permanent 

part of our family 

Julijana Audrey Spring

Time in the Sun

I was the first to get sick, that was on Saturday the 8th.

By Sunday the 9th we were all really sick with high fevers.

On late Monday the 11th I was starting to feel a bit better, Audrey's cough was mostly gone (though her snotty nose still remains today) but Axel was really miserable with a sinus infection. He laid in bed most of the day, and Tuesday was much of the same.

Finally, on Wednesday, we were all on the mend. Although it was absolutely beautiful outside, Axel didn't quite have the energy for any adventures. But one thing about this place we're staying, it has two nice big balconies that gets full sun all day. I suggested to Axel that he take his Thomas the Train crew out there to play.

They had a marvelous time, and spent 3-4 hours out there soaking up the sunshine! Thank you God for a glorious way to recover from the crud.

Oh yes, Thomas came along, all the way to Serbia!

Getting in an out of this chair was as much fun as an amusement park! 

Thomas and Percy pulled with all their might. 

Audrey LOVED watching the cars zooming by on the fast street below. 

As each car would go by she would give a squeal of delight! 

Then turn and give me a big smile as if to say "Did you see that?" 

Oh those bathrooms

I'm trying to get caught up on the blog, so decided to write this while I have pictures loading to my computer.

So…bathrooms. Public bathrooms. Axel is petrified of them. Three years ago when I adopted him, on the day of the adoption ceremony, I had to take him to the bathroom in the social center. Only it was a turkish toilet kind, just like this.

Axel would have nothing to do with it. NOPE! Not going in there. His county guardian was a man so I asked him to take him. He called the foster mother who said "No, Axel doesn't go in those." Ok then!

Two years ago I took the (then) three kids on a cross country road trip from MN to DC for the NDSC convention. That is hours and hours of driving, but Axel refused to use any public restroom. Instead he'd wait all day long until we got to our hotel for the night. He had to be miserable. I know I was miserable for him!

Now fast forward to this trip. Thanks to Axel's spinal surgery, he flies at least once a year for a check up with his surgeon, but its only a 3 hour flight so not a big problem for him. But this trans-atlantic flight? Different story. About half way through the flight he told me he needed to use the bathroom. Well, first I had to get him to walk up the isle with (very mild) turbulence. He gripped…no….he clung…to every single seat we went past. I had to pull his hand off each seat to get him to move forward. And let us remember that Axel has two speeds, "sleeping" and "sloth mode".

Finally, when I got him to the bathroom, he was NOT going in that tiny space. Nope. Not going in.  I had to push him in and he was clinging to anything he could hang onto. I realized the only way this was going to work was to go in with him. Somehow I managed to get the door shut.

Do you know how small airplane bathrooms are? They are NOT made for two people. So here we are, in the bathroom, with about 2 inches between us and Axel has a death grip on whatever he can grab, including me. It just was not a pretty experience at all, and I'm sure the people sitting just outside the bathroom wondered why this woman was climbing into the bathroom with a teenager!

About two hours later Axel said  he needed to go again. He walked up the isle much faster this time and went in himself. I had to show him how to lock the door, and he took for.e.ver in there, but he did it on his own. I waited for him outside the bathroom to help him back down the isle.

I'm glad we had this opportunity, because going home we will have Audrey with us and I won't be able to leave her in the seat to help him get to the bathroom. He will either have to wait, or go himself. He is perfectly capable, he is just afraid of certain things, like public bathrooms, small places, heights, stairs that are new to him, etc. I was VERY proud of him when we got on/off the last flight for Serbia. On that flight we have to go up the steps attached to the plane. Axel climbed up them with very little help, and when we got off the plane he climbed down just as well.  Climbed DOWN them, facing FORWARD! That was HUGE for him. (and his therapists are cheering now.)

What's left to do?

If you're on my Facebook, you know that the kids and I have been really sick. The kids are running high fevers and I have tonsillitis…again. I brought antibiotics with me but they're not doing anything so it must be viral and not strep-induced. Swallowing is nearly impossible, and I can't even begin to describe the grossness that is my throat. If you've never had tonsillitis, imagine swallowing crushed glass laced with razor blades. That might come close to the kind of pain involved. Plus the very high fever. My friend/facilitator Z. walked into the apartment yesterday saying 'Oh my God its hot in here!" I had no clue, because I was freezing!

This did happen at a good time though, because right now we're in the waiting game. We are back in Belgrade. Today the final report was submitted to the ministry and then we wait for a signature from the head minister. Once we have a signature it will be a race to complete the adoption ceremony, get the birth certificate and passport, adoption documents translated, medical check up complete then do the Visa process at the Embassy. Once that is done we're on our way home! The ministry said, given the time constraints, we won't have to wait long for the signature. I'm hopeful we'll come home on Saturday the 15th (which is Dean's birthday!) but there is no way to know for sure until we have that signature. I just know everyone here would like us out of the way while they work with the next two families on their processes, so there is incentive to move us along!

Audrey's Hands

I mentioned in a previous posts that I have concerns about Audrey's c-spine stability. She has periods of time where she is completely unable to use her hands. The foster family told me she could go days without doing this, then all of a sudden it shows up. It can last for minutes or hours. I've seen it do both. I finally caught it on video.

Sleeping

I'm not sleeping well because there is really no room for me, but the reason makes it all worth while!

Our first day!

Its still yesterday for you in the US. Thursday. But its tomorrow for me in Serbia. Friday. This post is about my yesterday and your today.

What a great day!

Today I was given custody of Audrey. The foster family said their goodbyes and we brought her back to the hotel. Audrey alternated between wanting my attention and playing by herself. She is very much like an 18 month old in her development, frequently "checking in" then off to do her own thing again. She makes lots of different noises, and her tone of voice fluctuates. She tries to play little games with me (peek-a-boo) which she can initiate, and really enjoys things like Pat-a-cake. She tries to imitate some things, and is starting to sign "more" and has something that sounds like "no". See? 18 months!

Aside from the potential spinal cord problems (and I've been in contact with Axel's spine surgeon who agrees this needs to be investigated as soon as we get home) my next biggest concern is her feeding. Actually, its not as much of a concern as it is "Oh my word we need to get this child eating like a human being and not a wild animal!"

Audrey is able to chew, and actually chews quite well! (Thank you GOD!) She has great lateral tongue movement and is able to move the food around to where she wants it. She is NOT able to manage pureed foods. It took me a bit to figure out the problem, but I *think* its that she can't feel where they are in her mouth. Her tongue thrust is very strong and all purees just get pushed right back out. She is able to suck food off a spoon if you place it near her palate, similar to the way Asher did when we first got him. When she self feed she stuffs the food into her cheek. I caan't wait until she's using a fork!

Oh man, the tongue!! I've tried correcting her about her tongue a few times, but this girl can hold a grudge! I've decided to wait and tackle that when we get home.

The social workers paid us a visit late in the afternoon. That's always interesting since they don't speak English and I don't understand Serbian. Only very tiny bits and pieces. I whipped out google translate and they were able to let me know they'll be back at 9:00 tomorrow morning. Yipee!

I wasn't sure how to handle meals with Audrey while at the hotel. I have lots of those pouches of baby food with  me, but she is not a fan! There is *no way* I'm feeding her in the restaurants. She is a HOT MESS when she eats and these restaurants are covered in white linen. LOL I did manage to get her to eat one meal of baby food in the room, then we went down to the restaurant with a chewy in hand. I really had no idea if she would actually like the chewy, but she took right to it and it kept her busy enough while we waited for our food. (notice her hands all all wet with saliva?)

I didn't know what I ordered for dinner. Wednesday I tried to order chicken something,  but was told no by the waiter. I ended up ordering "beef soup" which had about 4 tiny shreds of beeb in kind of a creamy soup. It was very tasty, especially with the awesome bread! Tonight I tried to order goulash but was told no again. This waiter didn't speak or understand English so in my most pleasant tone I asked, "So tell me, is there anything on this menu I'm actually allowed to order?" I handed the menu to him and kind of made a general gesture for him to pick something we CAN have. I pointed to one item that was beef something or other. "Very good" he was able to say. Great, we'll have that.

I ordered beef hearts for dinner.

Probably not my favorite cut of meat.

Axel loved it.

The beef hearts came with some kind of rice dish, boiled carrots, boiled potatoes and peas. It was a HUGE plate! While the rice dish didn't work out so well for Audrey, the boiled veggies were just right for her and she ate a ton.  They were very tasty for me too. Some of you will be happy to know I DID try the beef heart. I'm pretty sure I have psychological damage now.

Here's one more video. We're in the entry of the hotel room, which is the only open space for her to play. And its dark. I can't wait to be out of this room!!! Praying for sunshine Friday so we can get outside!!!


Did you notice in the video we have a diaper digger? Yay us! The foster family had lots of stories for me from when they first got her back in June. I'll need to be buying some of those union suits!

Its now 2:00 a.m here. Audrey went to sleep easily at 8:00. She was up for a bit around midnight when she heard me in the bathroom talking to Dean and the kids on Skype. I opened the door to find a cute little girl in her pink jambes, patiently waiting for me. ;-)

And now, its time for me to try sleeping again! 

A visit

Yesterday Audrey paid a visit to hour hotel room. We were lucky enough to keep her for most of the day.

First things First

I normally have a list of specialists for us to see when we bring a new family member home. After our first few days together I start to prioritize the list.

The first thing Audrey will have done is a neck X-ray to rule out AAI.

She has something up with her hands and I suspect there is something going on with her neck that is causing it. Normally she uses her hands very well, pushing buttons on toys with her index finger, ect. Then today we arrived for our visit and she was holding her hands up near her shoulders (kind of like high guard) She refused to use them AT ALL. Finally when she was really motivated by a toy she attempted to pick it up using her wrists. She also used the back of her hands to turn her toy on instead of pushing the buttons. She even used her mouth to pick up food and didn't attempt to use her hands. Normally she self feeds.  I tried touching her hands she pulled them away as if they hurt. The foster family says this pops up randomly. She could be fine for several days then one morning wakes up, or sometimes suddenly in the middle of the day, is unable to use her hands at all.

Later in the day we were able to bring her back to our hotel. I had to keep her busy for several hours before returning her to the foster home. I decided to give her a bath knowing she likes to play with water. She still refused to use her hands, and would put her arm under the running water but not her hands. Then all of a sudden she did a weird neck movement then started using her hands like nothing was wrong.

I had the sickening feeling that if I hadn't had the water running I would have heard the awful noises in her neck that Axel's used to make.

I have very clear memories of Axel's spine surgeon checking the sensation in his feet and legs, but I don't remember him checking Axel's hands. The way Audrey was acting, like it was painful if I touched her hands, in addition to not being able to use them, makes me wonder if they're tingling. The fact that its happening on both sides simultaneously raises my alarm bells for AAI.

So thats our first priority when we get home.

Second is feeding therapy.

Ok, now for the details

Earlier when I posted Audrey's picture, I could only get internet on my phone and I hate typing on it. So…here are a few pictures and then the details. She doesn't really stop moving so its hard to capture her with the camera! I have commented to a few people when I first received pictures that I was worried because I have never seen a picture of her smiling. Now I know why!  Here are all my attempts to get a picture of Audrey.

This is as close as we can get to "still" and "full face". Do you notice she has her ears pierced?

Maybe if  sing in her ear?

Axel and the grandkids of the foster parents. The oldest girl was very close to Axel. Oh the tears when she walked in the door! He hugged her RIGHT AWAY! The girl holding Audrey is one month younger than Audrey. 9 years old. The boy next to her is small 6. Look how tiny Audrey is next to him. She *might* be able to wear a US size 4 clothes. 

Axel and the grand daughter. She was like a sister to him when he was here. Axel used to love to brush her hair. It was fun she is able to speak some English and they had fun visiting together. Axel started saying a few Serbian words too!

And now for the details. Naturally my first response was "Oh my word she is so tiny!" I think she is even smaller than Asher was when I first met him. Maybe close to the same size. Keep in mind she has been in the foster home since June and has gained around 15 pounds. You can imagine how skinny she was!

She is a very capable little girl. She is able to indicate she wants a drink (she goes and gets a cup to give to the foster mother) She exhibits a wide range of emotions, including happiness, excitement, frustration. 

She is still food obsessed and really has a long way to go with that. She chews food but not very effectively. She stuffs food into her mouth, moves it around a bit, but tends to swallow it whole. She did come to  me once when she has a huge mushy wad of bread in her mouth that was too big to swallow and indicated she wanted it out. 

She drools constantly! Anyone who makes velcro towel bibs? She went through three or four in the 3 hours we were there. She also likes to lick her hands and then spread the mess all over her face and arms. Yay! 

Did I mention she is tiny? I brought three sizes of shoes with me: toddler sizes 7, 9, 10. She will be wearing the 7's I think! The 9's will be too big. Tomorrow I'll bring shoes along to the visit to make sure the 7s will fit. 

Audrey is starting to babble and is making lots of different consonant sounds. b, n, h, m. You can see she wants to say words. 

She still has a lot of institutional behaviors, but the foster mother says she is already a completely different child than when she arrived back in June. Her skin was a mess then but is in good condition now because, thankfully, she really likes to have lotion put on her. I expect that a year from now she will be different still. 

Audrey really is a very happy little girl. She spent most of the time sitting in my lap. Periodically she would go sit with someone else, but always would come back to me. She really likes music - and to dance to music - so I was often singing quietly in her ear while everyone else was visiting. She seemed to really love this. I would kind of massage her hands and arms at the same time which she also enjoyed. She has a little stimming thing she does with her fingers, (she has the TINIEST  hands!) making the ASL "R" handshape. Axel notice she can make and "r" and told her "Good job Audrey!" 

we met our girl!!

The other part of the meeting!

The other part of my meeting to day involved Axel. There are only a couple of other kids who have ever come back to Serbia after their adoption. Axel is the first with Down syndrome to ever come back.

Of course, everyone who knew him three years ago was shocked at how much Axel has grown. Many commented on how grown up and mature he is now. About 1/2 way through the meeting all of a sudden Axel said "Hi!" to the foster mom. Like he suddenly realized "Hey! Now I know where I know you from!" We were there three hours and Axel sat the entire time, looking at a magazine, playing with cards, and drinking his juice.

Interestingly, during one part of the meeting I asked a question. In Serbian they asked if I could please clarify the question. AXEL answered!!! Not in words, but in sign, giving an example of something Asher does. It was very clear he understood their Serbian question! Axel never ceases to amaze me. 

Audrey - Ministry Meeting

Today was the day of our meeting with the Serbian  Ministry Adoption Unit. For those new to the Serbian process, this is the first step of your in-country process. If your child is located in, or close to Belgrade, then as soon a this meeting is done you will go to meet your child. For us, Audrey is located in Kragujevac, which is a little over an hour away.

The purpose of this meeting is to have the opportunity to talk to the social workers other social center (county level) staff responsible for the child. They will go over both social and medical history. Don't worry about trying to "prove" yourself at this meeting. You have already been determined to be suitable adoptive parents by this stage. When you have your meeting, please know you are free to ask any questions you may have.

So.. onto our meeting!

In attendance from the social center were the social worker, Audrey's legal guardian, the foster mother, and the head psychologist. In addition were the Ministry staff which includes the English contact so many of you have been in contact with, the ministry psychologist, and the jurist (attorney). In the case of our family, these are all people who are familiar to us and have watched our family grow for 3 1/2 years now so the meeting was a bit more relaxed than is usually the case.

I had thought that Audrey was from the Stamnica institution, but learned I was mistaken. She comes from the institution in Subotica which is in Northern Serbia. She was not in very good condition when she moved to foster care last June. Since then she has gained 6-7 kg. She is very cuddly and friendly, going to anyone. She is a good sleeper, but still sleeps in a crib.  She has made a lot of improvements in her development since moving to foster care and we were given many examples. I know that there is feeding therapy in our future, and lots of occupational therapy. When the meeting ended the foster mother returned to make a point of telling us that Audrey likes to lick her hands and sometimes her clothes. Of course, this trip I somehow managed to leave all my oral motor stimulating stuff at home!

I did specifically ask if, when I am given custody (which should be sometime around Thursday) if I could return to Belgrade with her, as the last few families have been able to do.  I was told this would not be possible so I expect I'll be staying in Krag. until the adoption ceremony. I didn't really budget for that so we'll see how that goes!

Tomorrow is the day I will finally get to meet her. I'm so excited! Tonight I'll be cleaning up the apartment a bit, doing some laundry and getting ready to leave our home-away-from-home for the next 7-10 days. I do not expect to be home in the US until around the 21st.

A Very Special Day

Axel was adopted in December 2010. Four months later, in May, 2011, I was able to return to Serbia to meet Axel's birth family. They really are amazing people who made a very difficult decision at a time when, for them, there were no other options. 13 years ago when Axel was born, and even three years ago when we adopted him, things were very different in Serbia for kids with Down syndrome.  Axel's first mother and I now share a son on opposite sides of the world. We keep in frequent contact and they are able to follow along in Axel's life. We love them dearly.

Yesterday was a historical day for our family. The purpose of Axel coming along with me to Serbia was so that he could meet his first family. A family who loves him, cares about him, and worries about him, just as parents do. A big brother who misses his little brother.

I know you all have a lot of questions about what Axel understood of the visit, so I will just explain it this way: We really have no idea what Axel does or does not understand, or what he remembers of his birth family. I know that he would not understand the concept of having two mothers. We do know that Axel understands "friend" and "meet new friends", so Axel was told "We are visiting good friends who are excited to see you."

Our visit was amazing, and all of us adults were able to contain our emotions where Axel was concerned so that he was not left worried or confused. Axel's first mother shared with me pictures that are rare for the mothers of internationally adopted children to see. I will cherish them forever. They are a gift like no other.

With the permission of Axel's first family, I am sharing with you pictures of our visit.

How to get on Serbia time

This is my seventh trip to Serbia. Every time I try so hard to do it "right", and get on Serbia time quickly. I still don't have it right, but Axel does!

We arrived at 4:00 in the afternoon. Although we were both exhausted and hungry, we had things to do right away, so I was able to keep Axel up until 9:30 pm. When I finally had him lay down to sleep, he was out in a matter of seconds. I stayed up until 10:30 when I finally climbed into bed myself.

The next thing I knew, it was 10:00 a.m.!! Axel was still sound asleep so I decided to just let him sleep. Unfortunately that meant I also went back to sleep, where I stayed until 12:30 when the phone rang. Oh man, I knew I was gonna be messed up!

Axel and I laid around the rest of the day. Sat out on the balcony in the fresh air for a bit (the wind was too cold) and just did a lot of nothing. At 10:30 I told him he had to go to bed and he looked at my like I was cray. LOL But he went, and was asleep in a few minutes. Fortunately he slept until 10:00 this morning. I, on the other hand, was still awake at 5:00 am when I finally forced myself back to bed! I expect the four hours of sleep I got won't last me very long.

Today Axel and I are going to walk around Kalemegdan Park. It will be good to be out in the fresh, 55* air! 

We're here!

It was a long, but mostly uneventful trip! Our first flight was delayed because the President came to visit MN and, you know, the arrival and departure of Airforce One stops all movement at the airport, so we had to with for that. Luckily we had plenty of layover time in Chicago. Our other two flights were right on time. Neither Axel or I slept on the transatlantic flight.

As usual, I hit the ground running! We got off the plane, dropped our luggage off at our apartment, then I spent 3 hours in the dentist chair, staring the work to repair the damage done to my teeth a few weeks ago. My friend Zoran does amazing dental work, for 1/4 the price I would pay in the US. Hoping to have it all completed by Monday night.

Sunday we have a *very* special day planned that I can't wait to tell you about.

Axel and I have now been awake for 32+ hours. We're finally sitting down to some real food then headed to bed. I'm hoping that since it's 9:30 at night we *might* be able to sleep the whole night. One can hope, right???

And here we go!

Every stitch of laundry is done. 

The beds have clean linens.

Four different schools have everything they might need while I'm gone.

Kids clothes set out for an entire week.

Rides have been arranged.

Meds have been dispensed for several weeks.

Groceries have been purchased.

Bus schedules posted.

Lunch menu posted.

Dogs bathed and groomed.

Boys have gotten haircuts.

Laundry room (family closet) reorganized. 

Spare bedroom cleaned out for "the help". (Thanks Noah!)

Van is cleaned out.

Car seat might get installed.

Prescriptions are filled.

Bags are packed. 

Every kid hugged.

In 5 more days we'll meet Audrey! 

Here we go!!!!

Fully Funded and a Promise Kept

YOU DID IT!!! You have each played a HUGE role in helping us get J home! Whether you contributed $5, $10, $100 or more, each of you helped and each dollar was crucial. So, too were the prayers I know many of you were offering up.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

So, I know why you're really here. You're here because I promised you a name if we reached our fundraising goal.

So let me go back to our names.

Dean's only son's name is Aaron. When we decided to adopt, our last child left at home was Angela.
During Axel's adoption we debated long and hard about names. His birth name is not one that would ever get pronounced correctly here in the US, and not even Dean or I could say it. We both like old names, and names that you don't hear every day. And so we went with Axel, which is my grandfather's name.

Our next adoption moved very fast. Two days before I left we were still discussing names. Dean was all "No more A names." Another family was in country at the time adopting their son and the timing was just right for his life to literally be saved. (he was dying at the time.)  I was looking up a scripture verse about happiness, and the first one I found was Genesis 30:13, which reads, "Then Leah said, "How happy I am! The women will call me happy."  so she named him Asher."

I turned to Dean who was sitting across the room. "How about Asher?"

"I like that!" he said. Which was good, since God pretty much decided it for us!

Along came our 3rd adoption. I don't even know how many names we discussed, and they started with all different letters, but the name we both kept coming back to was Abel. And then one night I was in my prayer closet...I mean the shower...when God very clearly gave me a message about our soon-to-be son. "This will not be easy. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done. This child is very capable but you will have to find him. He is very ABLE." I didn't say anything to anyone except Dean. The next day on my blog a very good friend of mine said, "My husband said his name is Abel."

So here we are. A girl. But now we have 5 A names in a row, so to give J a name starting with anything else would just be weird at this point. Because 5 A names is not weird, right? Certainly 6 won't be.

Do we ever say the wrong name? Oh, only 100 times a day. But I did the same when I had five kids at home who had very different names. One time the baby was crying and the boys were fighting and the dog was barking and the phone was ringing. "Ro...No...T..Br...Who ever is BARKING STOP IT!" So it happens, no matter what the names are.

We did know, however, that we didn't want an A name with a short /a/ sound (as in apple) or /A/ sound, as in airplane.

So, start with A
Old name
No /a/ sound
No /A/ sound

This was no easy task to name this child!

We tried out name after name. Nothing was right.

Then one day a friend was talking about a family member. I think it was her aunt. I really don't remember, because when she said her name it hit me in the heart. I texted Dean the name and nothing else. No question. No explanation. Just the name.  He called me seconds later. "I love it!"

That night at dinner we talked about the name with the kids. Angela can say it without any problem. Axel is very close to being able to say it, and Asher and Abel can sign it. It feels right. Still, if I meet her and it doesn't feel right, nothing is written in stone.

And so, our old, uncommon, non "A" sounding name is.....

Audrey.