Let me tell you a little secret...

Let me tell you a little secret about myself. Shhh...come closer. Really close so I can whisper it in your ear.

shhhhhhhhhhhh

Most people will tell you that I am usually a calm, cool, mostly collected person. It takes a lot to rattle my cage, and even when I does get rattled, I can shake it off in a few minutes. I am not a "high anxiety" person at all. My whole family is this way, and Dean is this way too. We're just laid back people in general. So what's the secret?


I AM FREAKING OUT! 

There is too much to think about! Here is a general list of what goes through my head when I try to close my eyes at night. In no particular order:

How will we get all this stuff done in so little time?
How will I get all these forms filled out and which needs to get in the mail tomorrow?
Which grants should we be applying for?
Will we qualify for any grants?
Do we have time to get the room painted?
Don't forget to pay the bills!
Oh, we have to buy clothes for Axel! He comes to us naked! We have to bring them along!
What size does he wear?
I don't remember how big he is, I should have paid attention to that.
Don't forget to bring boots and and a coat/hat/mittens for him, the babushkas will yell at us if he's not dressed warm enough.
Toys for Axel, things to do on the plane.
What does Axel like?
How will we raise the rest of the money?
Who will stay with the dogs?
Who will take Angela?
Maybe I should take out a short term loan just in case I get stuck from another volcano? It DOES happen!
How will Axel and I do alone together when Dean goes home?
What if Axel doesn't like us?
What if we're too boring?
What if Axel and Angela hate each other?
OMG WHAT IF ZURRI COMES IN HEAT WHILE WE'RE GONE?
I should bring pull-ups along, so we don't have "problems" on the plane. That would be bad!
What if he gets airsick? That would be WORSE!
I need to get my ear tubes checked to make sure they're still in place, cuz that would be HORRIBLE if they're not!

And this, my friends, is why I have not slept all week long! This is called "nesting". The only difference is there is no baby sucking the physical energy from me to cause me to sleep. Instead the brain tries to drain the energy, which causes me to stay awake. UGH!

IPAD Give Away!!!

Yep, we're doing a give away!!! Help us get Axel home! With just a few weeks until we board that plan to get our boy, we're in the final stretch to get our funds together, and what a stretch it is! So, who's game for an

Apple® - iPad™ with Wi-Fi - 16GB

How to enter: $25 per entry, and of course you can enter as many times as you like! But, as an added bonus, any donation of $100 will give you FIVE entries!!! All donations are 100% tax deductible to Reece's Rainbow, which is a 501c3 non profit organization.

Give away ends November 7th, and the winner will be announced November 9th. Please help us get Axel home  by posting this on your facebook pages and blogs, and help us get Axel home!

Remember $25 per entry, just click below to get to Axel's donation page. Ready????? When you get there, click the "Donate" button.

  CLICK HERE  TO ENTER 

One decision made!

Well, one decision has been made for us! Angela cannot come along on this trip. The drive from the big city to Axel is long, and the car small. And we will need to be brining Axel back with us on someone's lap as it is. (I'm sure he'll be thrilled about THAT, considering he's probably not going to want to go with us in the first place!)

Dean is only coming along for the first week of the trip, so it's only one week that I need to figure out care for Angela.

AND, today I found out that the person who we had lined up stay with our dogs - when we were hoping to travel in November - is booked all of December. Normally for four dogs she charges $50/day, but was going to do it free of charge for us for the adoption. Boarding them somewhere is out of the question, it is just too expensive! Well that and two of them are breeding dogs (not spayed/neutered) so cannot go to a kennel anyway. Because we have four dogs, it is easiest to have someone stay here with them rather than farm them all out. We can see if one of our adult sons can stay here, but it puts them quite a ways away from their jobs.

See, Satan does this stuff to throw a wrench in things as soon as they start picking up, I tell ya!

What about Ianna?

Have no fear! We have NOT forgotten about Ianna!!! We are hoping that we'll have the opportunity to see Ianna while we're there, so Dean will have a chance to meet her. I'm going to ask (beg? Grovel?) if we can get a meeting or something with Ianna's case manager, so he/she can see we are a real live family who WANTS this child! That we are willing to take her off their hands, and provide for all the things she needs. It can't hurt to ask!!! When we get closer to travel, we're going to be setting up some type of prayer event for this.

We won't give up on you Ianna. We will bring you home! Like Axel, we will not let YOU become an Eastern European statistic without a fight!

So now what?

Just three weeks ago, we were finally given the go-ahead to send our family profile for Axel. It took some time for it to be translated, and make it's way through the channels. We knew that once we got word, there would not be a lot of time and that things were going to move quickly.

Yes, in fact, our homestudy was just completed two weeks ago, and was received my immigration two days ago.  We haven't been fingerprinted yet. As soon as that's done, and our immigration approval comes in, we're ready to travel! We are "penciled in" to our facilitator's schedule to arrive in country the first week of December but could go sooner if our approval comes sooner.

This makes my hyperventilate.

Why? We have 6 weeks to get things figured out and lots of families get far less.  Well, because we are approximately $5,000 short for this adoption. Because Axel is in foster care, it is slightly more expensive than we'd originally planned when we were planning for Ianna. (more about Ianna in a separate post!) 

We haven't yet decided if we're bringing Angela along. Originally when we were going to be getting Ianna, we were definitely bringing Angela because of where Ianna is located, but the logistics of where Axel is make it not only difficult, but more expensive to bring one more person along. But, leaving Angela behind means I have to figure out what I'm doing with her for a week. We have someone staying here with the dogs, but she doesn't know Angela. Dean is only coming along for the first week of the trip, then Axel and I will be coming home two weeks later. So if Angela stays behind I'll need someone willing to take her for one week. 

Oh, there is much planning to do in the next couple of weeks!!! Our dossier was sent off this afternoon, and I have to wire money for translation fees tomorrow, and other funds to send to various places tomorrow as well. A room to paint, bedding to buy, clothes for a boy who I wasn't paying attention to EXACTLY how big he was. 

Wow...lots to do!

His name is AXEL!

A name only a very strong boy can earn, carried down from my grandfather who in the early 1900's, at the age of 14 came alone from Canada to Minnesota then western Wisconsin, earned enough to purchase land, build a farm and raise a family of 11 children.

Our soon-to-be Axel has survived conditions even worse. Born in Eastern Europe with Down syndrome, like all the other babies born there with DS, he was immediately placed in an orphanage where he stayed until somewhere around the age of 4 when he was transferred to an institution, where most spend their days TIED in cribs, often dying from starvation, dehydration and hypothermia. The life expectancy of a child with DS in Eastern Europe is 6 years old. Axel had already beat the odds. He stayed there until he was 7. Unloved and alone.  At that time he was supposed to be moved to yet another facility, probably just as bad, if not worse.

But Axel got lucky. God opened a door, and Axel was moved to a foster home where he has been ever since. Even though he was in a foster home, with foster parents who cared for him, he has never been allowed to attend school. Kids "like that" don't go to school there. He's never been taught how to read, or write, or anything else. After all, Axel has Down syndrome, and kids "like him" can't learn. He doesn't go out in public freely like my Angela does. You don't see "those kids" walking the streets of Eastern Europe. You don't see them anywhere! They're gone...shut away so everyone can forget they exist.

Last April I visited some of the orphans of Eastern Europe, and this foster home is where Axel was when I met him. His foster mother is very nice, and obviously cares for him, and he has foster siblings who he is attached to. But his social worker pleaded with us to find a family for him. He was going to be turning 10 in August, and his time in foster care was up. The Government has limits to what they will pay for, and age 10 is it. Sadly the foster family was not in a position to adopt. (and rarely in this country does a foster family actually adopt the child.) The resources for Axel had been exhausted, and he was going to be moved to an institution. The life expectancy there is short. Being the size of an average American 5 year old, he would quickly be victimized, hungry, cold and would soon loose his will to live.

I held Axel. I  played with Axel. I  looked into the eyes of this smiling child so full of life. Look at his face in this picture.

I could not imagine this lively, vibrant child, being put into such a facility and facing his death sentence. I had to do SOMETHING about it! Like Ianna, I vowed to find him a family. When Dean and I decided that we would adopt two children, (remember the man who dropped me off at the airport saying he would never adopt, and now here he was agreeing to TWO????? God does crazy things like that!) because of our ages we knew that we would not be adopting the "little and cute" toddlers who everyone else was bringing home. We would be adopting the older, very hard to place children. Ianna was a given. She was ours from the beginning. 

But who else? I never forgot about Axel. But what about Dean? We discussed who the second child would be. Dean said, "Who is in the most danger?" Well, Axel, of course! And so, the first week of December we will be on our way to bring Axel home!

You can help Axel to NOT become an Eastern European statistic by entering to win an

Apple® - iPad™ with Wi-Fi - 16GB

How to enter: $25 per entry, and of course you can enter as many times as you like! But, as an added bonus, any donation of $100 will give you FIVE entries!!! All donations are 100% tax deductible to Reece's Rainbow, which is a 501c3 non profit organization. 

Give away ends November 7th, and the winner will be announced November 9th. Please help us get Axel home by posting this on your facebook pages and blogs, and help us get Axel home! 

Remember $25 per entry, just click below to get to Axel's donation page. When you get there, click the "donate" button. Ready?????

  Drawing is now closed, but if you'd still like to donate to help get Axel home, every dollar helps!  

It's coming! It's coming!

I PROMISE!!!! Tonight the news is coming! FOR REAL! I have to leave to run a bunch of errands, write some big checks, then come back and upload the changes to the blog (if I can remember how to do it!) but we have been given the green light, all systems are GO!!!!!!! WHOO HOOO!!!!!!!!! Eastern Europe, HERE WE COME!!!!!

100% GRANT

"This little angel can just light up a room with her smile and her giggle. She is constantly happy, very alert and playful, and is an orphanage favorite. We are waiting for some new photos of her, but she is registered and available to be adopted now! She has had surgery for her spinal hernia (not spina bifida), but it was unsuccessful in her country. She is not able to pull up or stand/walk on her own. We hope she would have much better chances of correction here in the US, but we will not have any x-rays or other records available prior to your trip to share with a doctor for review. She has decompensated hydrocephaly as well. "

Is this your child???? She has a FULL GRANT! $23,000!!! Her family is out there, looking at her picture RIGHT NOW, and your heart is stirring!! Look, $23,000 has been raised for this child, for you to complete her adoption. Please listen to God's calling. This child is going to be transferred VERY SOON. If this is your child, please contact Andrea at Reece's Rainbow for more information.

HOUSTON! We have communication!!!!!

We have communication from the other side of the world!!!! What does it say? HA!!!! It says, (Paraphrasing here) "We haven't had time to go through everything yet, but please send those fancy, golden stickerfied documents you spent big bucks for last week, and while you're doing that, please wire transfer another $1,000 so we can translate said documents from English to ? so that our high ranking officials can read them."

Sounds like one of those 417 schemes, doesn't it? ROFL Scary, I know! But I assure you, this is very real, and this is just how things are done!

Now, I'm just waiting for one final approval so that I can tell you what in the world this is all about!

Well?

Will today be the day? Will I get to share any news with you? AND JUST WHAT WILL THAT NEWS BE????? It could be bad and leave me in tears and hiding for 3 days, or it could be good and have me hollering from the rooftops!  I honestly do not know, but I'm waiting on pins and needs to find out. It could be today...or it could be tomorrow. UGH!!!!! My hair is turning WHITE I tell ya!

Not gonna sleep tonight

My spirit is not going to be at rest much tonight. There are too many things going on in the world while I am supposed to be sleeping and other parts of the world are awake.

I always joke about the fact I do my best thinking in the shower. No, really, I'm THINKING or PRAYING! I think it's because that's the one place where most of the time nobody is bothering me, no dogs are bugging me to go outside, no puppies are whining, the phone is not ringing, and there are no emails (I refuse to bring any electronic devices into the bathroom unless I'm expecting an incredibly important phone call. Anything else can wait 20 minutes!)

The shower is where I get my best ideas. It's also where I'm able to hear God, probably because of the aforementioned uninterrupted 15 minutes. I don't know how many times I've said to Dean, or to one of my good friends, "This morning I was in the shower and I thought of something....." I'm pretty sure they all think I'm crazy already anyway, so I might as well give them another reason to confirm their suspicions, right?

Anyway, tonight I was in the shower and I started freaking out a little bit. There is so much to get done! Suddenly I saw these to-do lists in front of me: one for me and one for Dean. Mine was much longer than Deans, but his was long enough that I was all of a sudden irritated by the fact he went out of town this past weekend to "get away from things." While I was having a minor panic attack Dean made the mistake of walking into the bathroom. Poor guy! I came out of the shower dripping wet, rattling off these lists of things that needed to get done, the time frame in which they needed to get done and by whom. (Ten for me, two for him. Ten for me, two for him, and so on!)

Dean, smart man that he is, didn't say much of anything. He just stood by, watching me have my momentary anxiety attack, knowing full well it would pass and he could get back to the show he was watching. He did make one critical error. He told me, "Well, write it all down so you don't forget anything."

It suddenly became clear to me he has not been following this process AT ALL!!!! Tonight my not sleeping is going to mean I'm hanging out with the copy machine a lot, and that Dean is going to get an eye full of what has been "written down" for the past few weeks!

Just a glimpse

Just a GLIMPSE of what I saw of the children of Eastern Europe. These are the smiles of the children. For every smile you see, there are 5 who were not. These are the children who have never felt the love of a mother or father. They go to bed each night alone. They have never had anyone sing them a lullaby, or read them a bedtime story. When they cry out in the dark, "I'm thirsty, I need a drink", there is nobody to answer the call. There is nobody to stroke their hair, or brush a tear off their cheek when they are afraid in the night.  Don't let the smiling faces fool you. They are alone in the world. I saw what I saw and I can't forget it. Will you forget it? Will you turn away?

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

How did this all start, anyway?

Pull up a chair, and let me tell you a story.....

In 2007, as Reece's Rainbow was just starting to take off, and a few families were blogging their journeys, it was easy to get hooked on their their stories. You felt like an expectant aunt as you followed the family through their frustrations of their paper pregnancy. You danced with eager anticipation as you viewed pictures of them boarding the plane to far away places to meet their child for the first time. You cried crocodile tears at the pictures of them meeting their child for the first time, and tears of anguish when they posted stories about some of the horrible things they saw while they were there.

One of the families I started following was Robert and Shelley Bedford who were adopting Xander from Ukraine, and in 2008 came Grifyn from Serbia. In 2009 they started the process to bring home Kullen from Bulgaria. One of the reasons they chose Bulgaria was the fact that only one parent was required to travel, meaning one of them would be able to stay home with their 5 kids. Bulgaria requires two trips, and early in their adoption process (which took a VERY long time!) Shelley jokingly said, "so who wants to go with me to Bulgaria? LOL" They were supposed to be adopting two boys, and needless to say she was a bit nervous about the thought of traveling home alone with both boys. (sadly, they ended up bring home only one of the boys, something they are heartbroken about.)

Anyone who knows me, knows that while I do have a sense of humor, I also am also an opportunist! Shelley and I had been in contact several times over the previous couple of years, and I had helped her with some fundraising things. I emailed her and said something to the effect of, "You know how you were joking about someone going to Bulgaria with you? Ummm...I know you only know me from emails but...ummm...I would go with you." Yes, I'm sure she thought I was crazy. She wouldn't be the first one! But who's more crazy? Me, or her for allowing me to come along?

Shelley ended up making the first trip to Bulgaria alone, which ended up working out quite well. That was the trip where she was meeting her son, while I was in Boston with Angela who was having esophageal surgery.

A couple weeks later, when we were both back in our homes, we were talking about our upcoming trip together. In the course of a phone call, Connecting The Rainbow was born. As we planned our upcoming trip to Bularia for Shelley to complete their adoption and pick up their newest son, we also made arrangements to meet with the families of Sofia, Bulgaria who had chosen to keep their children. You can read about that trip here

But we also made another stop along the way, in Belgrade, Serbia. Our purpose was to meet some children who had been newly registered for adoption, along with bringing some much needed supplies to the orphan care center there. This was the same place Shelley and her husband had adopted Grifyn from, so she was very familiar with the staff people there, and I was able to meet them and get to know them as well. We also met many of the children who are waiting for families, and got updated pictures of some of the children.  My favorite part was being able to send pictures to the families who had already been matched to a couple of the kids, or to those who had been THINKING about some of the kids and who were thinking about certain children but waiting for updates and have since brought those children home!

You can read all about my trip by clicking here. Everything from April 5th-April 26th is from that trip. There are some funny posts, like the post about European toilets, or the things that can be found in Bulgarian hotels when you're trapped there due to Icelandic Volcanos, the gold-plated tweezers I bought by accident due to translation issues,  and who can forget the GIANT PIZZA the size of a twin bed?

Hmmmm

Can you feel it? It's like a burning, itching, scratching kind of feeling. NO!!!! It's not fleas! It's almost like I feel a count down coming on! A countdown to what? I don't even know yet, but I can feel it.

Do-di-doooo

Just sitting here, doing nothing, watching the leaves drop from the trees and maybe tiny changes happen little by little on my blog header. 

Sitting on my hands

That's what I'm doing tonight, sitting on my hands! Yes, I got some news today, but it was only PARTIAL news! The news was, "We'll have an answer for you early next week."

Seriously. And I can't even tell what it's about.

I can tell you this though: See that header up there, at the top of the blog where the pretty flowers are, and the beautiful name Ianna? (which, by the way, I happen to love how the name Ianna comes out of the mouth like a breath of fresh air straight from God!) Anyway, keep an eye on that header over the next few days. It might have your first clues!

Stickers!

I feel a little like Charlie, visiting Willie Wonka's factory today. Who ever thought there would come a day that I'd be willing to shell out a chunk of money just to get a bunch of golden stickers?

Well, that is just what I did today! (and actually, I have to do again tomorrow as I realized I have two documents that are missing notarizations) These golden stickers, purchased at the Secretary of State's office, certify that the notaries who who witnessed my signatures on said documents are indeed authorized to do just that. Their notary registration numbers have been checked, and their expiration dates verified. They are, in fact, all certified, verified, notaries, and I am who I say I am, and these documents are FOR REAL MAN!!!!

So now what? Now, if a country were to request our "dossier", this is it! This IS our dossier. This bundle of golden stickerfied documents are what gets fed-exed to to whatever country gives us the approval to do so.

And, it's very possible that we'll have that very approval one of these days. And when we get it, we will be ready!

An empty room

Remember these?

They are now gone, and we are left with an empty bedroom. Whatever shall we do with an empty room?

A Father's Heart

I've never done this before but I think it is about time I do. People ask me why are you adopting and what made you want to adopt, now. Well, I told Leah,what ever you do when you go to Eastern Europe, don't fall in love with any children over there because I'm not to far from retiring and I like to play and do things like golf, fish, ride motorcycles and putz around the house.

It wasn't until I saw my Love (Leah) with those children interacting and playing and seeing the smiles that came from those children just from a single touch that had changed my heart. I suddenly got a feeling in my heart that told me, you know what Dean, I know we could give one or more of those children the love that I think every child should have. ( A person will never run out of love from the heart.)

In one picture that Leah sent to me melted my heart, so I started asking questions about this little girl, in my heart I knew it really didn't matter what was wrong with her. I found out a lot about her syndrome and contacted a couple families who had children with the same thing and asked questions, knowing it really didn't matter.

I will tell you, I prayed a whole lot before I talked to Leah again, and the feelings that filled my heart and body were totally awesome. So, I have to say that if anyone reading this is contemplating adopting just ask and pray if this is what I/we should be doing. You will know what the answer is in just a split second, and if you don't feel it is just right for you now, don't stop praying about it. I know not all prayers are answered in a spilt second like mine was, but don't stop praying.

At the moment, we can not go and get that lovely little girl because of things that have to be worked out, but I know, in my heart and what I was told from my prayers that she will be home soon with Leah and myself. (But our families know that Leah and I are always full of surprises.) I think that anyone who has an empty bedroom or a place at your table should really open your heart (remember,you can never give to much love) and think about all of Gods children who only need and want a Mom and Dad to hold them and tuck them in at night.

Meet Anne Marie

This is Anne Marie.

It is because of children like her that  I went to Eastern Europe last spring, and the reason Dean and I have begged to and pleaded for Ianna for the past 6 months. She is the reason we continue to plead the case for other children who are at risk of being transferred to the institutions of Eastern Europe.

Today the community of Reece's Rainbow is saddened to learn that Anne Marie, a child who was waiting for a family, has passed away in the orphanage. She was alone. She never knew the love of a family. She did not die in the loving arms of a mother or a father. But she is now in the loving arms of THE Father. Never again will she know hunger, cold, fear or loneliness.

These children are REAL, and they are fighting REAL battles! The families who are fighting for them are REAL families who are fighting against the clock to get them out before they loose that battle! As you see me advocate for these families here, know that I am not trying to be dramatic just to help them drum up some money. This is VERY REAL! I saw, with my own eyes, children who were stick thin. Children who were in "good" facilities, who still were not getting all the care they need, weather it be medical, nutritional, or the fact that HELLO! They are living in an ORPHANAGE and not in a FAMILY! Some of the children are living in "good" places but face the very real risk of being transferred any day to much worse conditions.

When you came to my blog, you probably thought you were just going to follow along on our journey. How many of you have learned about a part of the world you never knew existed? How many of you wished you didn't know? Believe me, these children wish they didn't know this side of reality too! Please don't turn your back on them. Even if you are never in the position to adopt, can you help a family who is? Some of you may be thinking, "Are we? Are WE in a position to adopt?" Dean will tell you that a year ago, he did not think we were. In fact, six months ago he did not think we were. Maybe you have some questions for him about what changed his mind?

I can hardly STAND IT

Oh, I am having to sit on my hands to stop myself from spilling the beans here folks! It is all I can do keep my little fingers from cutting loose!

Just SAY'IN!

Q & A take two

When I first started this blog back in April, lots of people had questions. Interestingly, this past week it seems I've answered those questions all over again to several people in real life. Ok, who am I kidding? People ask us these same questions every single day!


My email box has been flooded with questions. I'll answer what I've gotten via email so far, and then feel free to ask more in the comments. I'll answer what I can, o.k.?

Is Ianna from Bulgaria? No, she's not from Bulgaria. And really, I can't say where she's from just yet. I can tell you she's somewhere in Eastern Europe.

Why no pictures? First of all, we haven't formally committed to adopting her yet. We're just waiting for some legal stuff to get done in her country so we can get that done. I *think* once that's done we're allowed to post pictures as long as we don't give identifying information. But, if you read my other blog, it's possible you've seen her face a time or two.

How old is she? Ianna is 10, and shares her birthday with my dad. Physically she is very small for her age, some of this is part of her diagnosis, and partly due to living in an institutional setting, the first 8 years of which were in awful conditions. Right now she's in a place where people care about her, and she's made great progress while there. We're praying she can stay there until we can go get her, because right now she's at serious risk of being transferred to a much worse situation. She should have been transferred at her birthday, but-praise God-that facility doesn't have any open beds.

Does Ianna have Down syndrome? No, she doesn't. Ianna has Apert syndrome. In the past I've worked with a few kids who have Apert syndrome, but I just worked with them, then they went home. I have a lot to learn! She will come home needing some surgeries, particularly craniofacial, and on her hands. We live in the perfect place for this, with 5 different children's hospitals very close by, and an awesome craniofacial clinic just 15 minutes away. I don't yet have her full medical report, but hope to have it soon! Then we'll have a better idea what we need to be planning for as far as medical check-ups. Angela has had so many surgeries that I have lost count, so that doesn't really bother me. It's new for Dean, but he's preparing himself by doing lots of reading, and has contacted other families who have children with AS and is asking lots of questions.

Are you guys nuts? You're not seriously asking this, are you? Like, have you been reading my other blog for the past 5 years? Of course I'm nuts, and Dean is right there with me. LOL But really, Dean and I have given this a lot of thought and prayer. We're not just jumping into this, and no, I have not pushed Dean into it. He had to come to his own decision, and if that decision was influenced by reading my blog posts while I was out of the country, that's not my fault. My family is 100% in support of our decision. Some of you know that my family is full of adoption, and we know it from every perspective.  I'm not really sure where Dean's family is with it. I'm thinking "shocked" is an understatement. So if you're asking us why, be prepared to answer "Why not?"

How much will this adoption cost? This adoption will cost somewhere between $18-20K, which includes travel expenses.

That's a lot of money! Do you have that? Ummm...no. Is that a problem? We're not worried about it, so you won't need to worry about it either. We'll pull it together, and God will make sure the money is there each step of the way, weather that be through fundraisers, or just plain 'ole, garden variety divine acts... like money falling from the sky. It could happen.  As long as we're following His lead, He'll make sure we have what we need. I'm always amazed when people claim to be church-going, God believing people, yet they have no faith in Him. And because THEY don't, apparently we shouldn't either! Sorry, but we have faith, so you can too! K?

What does Angela think of this? Now THAT's a really good question. We're not really sure. When we first showed her a picture, she got very serious, and in a compassionate voice said, "Oh...what happened? She got hurt?" We explained that just like she has Down syndrome, and sometimes has needed surgeries to fix this or that, Ianna has some things that need fixing too, while other things will stay the same. Angela was fine with that explanation.

Angela has actually been asking for a sister for quite some time. If strangers ask her if she has brothers and sisters, she says she has 4 brothers and 2 sisters!! Still, I don't think she understands the serious threat on her position in the household. No longer will she be the center of attention, and no longer will Dean and I be the only playmates! Dang! Life will not revolve around her and her schedule. There will be one more birthday to celebrate (this will be a bonus in her eyes!) She might have to play girl games like dolls or house, instead of "jail" or "Dog the Bounty Hunter". insert angels singing here. She might actually have to USE the very cool climber we built for her two summers ago. Really, she's been on it twice since we built it, and that's because I made her eat lunch in the tree fort part. Go ahead, call me horrible.

Aren't there kids here in the U.S. who need homes? Yes, there absolutely are! What are YOU doing to help them? How about your home? Do you have a spot for another bed? A place at your table? Room in your car? If you answered yes to even ONE of these things, then I hope you're taking some action! If you've answered no, then don't even bother going there with me. That said, the children in the U.S. foster care system have things far better than the orphans of Eastern Europe. When US orphans age out of the system, there are resources for them. Not so for the orphan of Eastern Europe, who ages out of the system between 14-16 years old, with the clothes on his back and a boot out the door that WILL hit him in the rear end on the way out!  Have you seen the conditions of EE orphanages? If you haven't, then go do some reading on my other blog, then we'll talk more. God doesn't say to rescue the orphans in your back yard. He doesn't designate county or international boundaries. He just says rescue them. Like he rescued you and me. Imagine if God only rescued people from one country and all the rest  were S.O.L! See? No boundaries in God's eyes.

So for now, I can pretend that this will be easy, and choose to only think about the really cool stuff happening in our family right now. Hey, I can be in denial if I want to! It's my blog! I know there will be days when Dean and I will be reminding ourselves that this was God ordained, and we were following what we were told to do. I'm pretty sure there might be times when one of us will try to say it's all too much, at which point the other will direct him or her back to the original story (I'll post it in a little bit) for a little reminder as to how we got here.

If you have more questions, feel free to post them in the comments!

Another room to clean out

We are reclaiming our office as a bedroom. I know I posted about this months ago, but really...we're doing it this time! We ended up deciding to get the larger of the two spare bedrooms ready for Ianna and leave the office alone. But, really don't NEED this office space, and we certainly don't need these two large desks. All they do is collect papers that should have been thrown away in the first place and office supplies that could be condensed into a much smaller space. I have them listed on craigslist, so if you're in the area, and looking for an executive desk, I happen to have two of them for sale CHEAP!

 

 The side cabinets on the larger desk are file drawers. The surface of this desk is LARGE at 3x6 ft! Both desks have glass tops.

This smaller desk is a computer desk. In the center cabinet is a slide-out keyboard tray, and a larger slide-out shelf for a printer or office supplies, or whatever else you want to hide in there.

Once these desks are gone, we'll have one empty bedroom. Then there is painting to be done, and a bed to find. (anyone have a maple or oak twin bed? Just the frame/headboard.) Once that's done, whoever will we put in here? 

Blogging Adoption

The adoption blogging community is full of families who are in various steps in the process of their adoptions, blogging as they go. Some are compiling their dossier like us, some are in country meeting their children for the first time, others are getting ready to come home, and others who have completed their adoption and are home loving their children. 

When we choose to blog such a life-changing experience, we're opening ourselves to the comments and opinions of others. I know from following the journeys of others, and from watching my own family members adopt, that not everyone is going to be supportive of us. The comments left on other people's blogs are shocking, really. People who clearly have no idea how the process works (and that it works different in every country!) making nasty, horrid and judgmental statements. 

Adopting is not easy, but if you're adopting an older child out of an institution, the process up until you bring your child home is a piece of cake compared to some of what can be expected once you get your child home. It is not a "happily ever after" kind of experience. These are children who have been abandoned, often abused, and need a lot of healing before they can be whole. Some never get there! But that is a chance those of us choosing to adopt these kids make. Sadly, parents who have chosen to blog about the difficult times with their newly added family members open themselves up to the opinions of total strangers. I've never allowed anonymous comments, and all my comments are moderated for this very reason. 

I intend to keep it real when talking about our adoption experiences (as much as I can while still maintaining a certain level of privacy for the child we bring home!) We fully expect to run into "issues" bringing home a child who has spent her entire life in an institution, and we have our support system in place so we can (hopefully) act proactively instead of reactively when those issues do arise...and they will. I want you, my readers, to feel free to ask questions rather than make assumptions that are based on misconceptions or inaccurate information.  And I am sure we will have plenty of questions for those who are reading who have gone before us! 

SIX MONTHS!

Six months ago today, I found myself on the other side of the world, looking into they eyes of the most beautiful little girl. At that very moment there was a shift in the universe as God performed simultaneous miracles on opposite sides of the world.

Done

Our homestudy is finally done. That process took f.o.r.e.v.e.r.! Some go so fast, and others...not so much! Ours was one of them, mostly because we're a complicated family. But then, I knew that going into this! LOL

Today I am bringing another large check to the homestudy agency, and then our homestudy will be sent off to USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services) From there they will send another notice to the US embassy in the country we specified, giving approval for us to adopt. This gives the Embassy the ability to issue a visa to our new child. Without that form...no visa...no adoption.

Dean and I agreed several weeks ago that once our homestudy is on its way to USCIS, we would have to make some tough decisions about who we're bringing home. It's a money game, one that is controlled by timing. In this world of adoption, the lives of children are intertwined with our bank accounts and the calendar. Of course God is in control of ALL of those things...it's up to us to make decisions about them and trust that we're making the right ones.

Under Pressure

Just cuz I like the song for where I'm at today!

NO SHOW!

So the person who was supposed to show up to the important meeting on the other side of the world today did not show up! This is a GOOD THING for now. Our hope is guarded.

So what does this mean exactly?

Take one guess......

MORE WAITING! But I'm not complaining, because that would not be exercising patience, now, would it?

What can faith do?

Thanks for sharing this with me tonight. How perfect.

Standing on the edge of a cliff

Picture a cliff, of the Grand Canyon variety.

I stand with my toes at the very edge of it, looking down at the depths of the valley below. But the gravel is loose, and I start to loose my balance as my toes start to slip off the edge. Arms swinging like windmills, with just one toe left on the edge as I try to right myself, there is just a moment where I'm frozen in place....one foot on the edge, the other out over the vast canyon below me, it is in that last second that I wonder if I'll ever get both feet on land or not. I know, in that very instant, it will take nothing less than a  miracle to get me there.

That is where I am today.

We received an email this morning (this afternoon in Ianna's country). A final decision as to weather or not we'll be able to adopt her will be made tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

It has all come down to tomorrow.

I read the email, then called Dean and could barely speak, much less read it to him. Our hearts are fragile right now, tomorrow we'll know weather or not we'll be sweeping up the pieces.

A tiny piece of news

As in weeks past, this week will mark yet another decision for Ianna. When I got the email I freaked out a teeny, eensy, weensie bit.

My dear friend Kaci helped bring me back to earth a bit when I was getting worked up and scared. I thank God every day for good and wise friends who know how to talk me down from scary places! Kaci and her husband, along with a few other new friends of mine,  have walked this road before us, in the same country. God is so good to connect me with these people who have both feet firmly planted in his word AND have adopted and understand the hysteria that sometimes comes with the territory.

So I will hold fast to what God did way back in April when the miracle that is Ianna appeared in our lives. Maybe tomorrow when I have time I'll tell you some things about me you may not know!

In the meantime, this week is yet another week of prayer for Ianna. That God's plan for her is put into motion, whatever that may be.

About fundraising

In the last couple of days, a couple different people have emailed me privately to ask how they can donate to our adoption fund through Reece's Rainbow or other organizations.

At this time, we're not able to collect funds for our adoption, at least not in a way that is tax deductible.
As soon as our homestudy is complete, and we have approval from our adoption agency, we can begin the fundraising...IF we need to fundraise.

That said,  I would like to offer HUGE praises to God, because all of our puppies are now sold, and in another 3 1/2 weeks they'll all to to their new homes. Getting to raise a litter of puppies is a joy. Watching each family leave with their new family member is a blessing. We have been blessed immensely. While the profit from the puppies is just a beginning, it's a good solid beginning. I want to thank every one of our puppy families for helping bring our girl home. I know they're all following our journey here, and I feel like our family has just grown. (FYI, this is where you start referring to me as "the crazy dog lady"! LOL)

The meaning of "transfer"

What does it  mean when us bloggers refer to a child who is "in danger of being transferred"? It countries in Eastern Europe, that usually means that the child is going to be transferred to a mental institution, and most of the time they are  not able to be adopted out of those institutions.

The facilities in Eastern Europe are divided by age groups, and they vary a bit depending up what country and region they're in, but for the most part, they are birth-4 or 6 years old. Whatever the top age is, that is the "transfer" age.

In most facilities, birthdays aren't "celebrated",  especially transfer birthdays. If it is a transfer to an institution where they cannot be adopted out of, for those with disabilities that is no different than a death sentence. The child, along with his file, is loaded into a car (often for the first time ever in his entire life!) and driven to the next facility. Sometimes the difference in the level of care in the new place is so dramatic the child looses the will to live within days or weeks.

I want you to do me a favor. Take just a few minutes and read this post. It is not going to be easy to read. If you're like me, you're going to need tissues to read it. You may need to walk away from it for a minute, (As I thought of George, I had to walk away because I was physically ill.) but please come back and finish reading it.  Please...for them...come back and finish reading.

A PICTURE!!!! FOR REAL!!!!

Copied from a public news website,

   A girl plays in a center for the disabled in Kulina, southern Serbia, Thursday, Nov. 15, 2007. The Serbian government angrily rejected allegations that disabled people in the country have been systematically abused, calling the charge "dark propaganda.

In Serbia, in 2007, Mental Disability Rights International did an investigation of an institution called Kulina. If you google images for "Kulina Serbia" you'll find some of the most difficult to see images you can imagine. If you go here you can read the full report of that investigation. It is NOT for the faint of heart.

The little girl pictured above is one of the children who was found in that institution. Due to the horrific conditions found in Kulina, many patients were transferred to other facilities. The little girl pictured above, along with 9 other children, were transferred to a MUCH nicer facility in Belgrade. I know, I've seen it with my own eyes, and I have met her.  She is growing and thriving. Unfortunately her time there is running out. She is, again, facing that dreaded word "Transfer". Please continue to pray for her, and someday I may be able to update this site with much different pictures of her.

Restless

I am feeling so restless.

I'm done gathering documents. On Monday or so we'll have the draft of the homestudy report to review, then the final draft will be printed up. Then everything will be ready to send off to USCIS.

That means our job on this end is done.

All that is left to do is wait. Raise some money, and wait some more.

This week we had new windows put in the house, so I'm very anxious to see the difference in heating costs this winter!

So now what?

I've sit on online searching for something, only I don't know what. I find myself on Reece's Rainbow, looking at the same faces over and over again. What or who am I hoping to find there?

November is coming far too fast. Too fast for Ianna to get home by the end of it. Nothing happens in that country the month of December since they shut down for the month for Christmas. It's getting less realistic to hold out hope for November.

And yet, I haven't given up yet. Not yet. Maybe that's why I'm so restless.

Here's to praying we get some word on Monday.

For Yulia

Yulia is living on borrowed time. My friend is doing an Ipad give away to contribute to a grant fund to get Yulia into a family. Maybe YOU are Yulia's family? Yulia's family is out there and may not even know it yet. But even if it's not you, maybe you can help bring her home? Hurry, her time is running out! 

Dreams

Last night I kept having dreams that Dean and I had children we kept forgetting that we had committed to adopting! We'd go get Ianna, only to find there was another girl or boy waiting for us that we'd forgotten we had committed to. We'd get that child, and there would be another...and so it would continue.

All these children we kept having to come up with money for, and the money kept falling out of our pockets into our hands, as if God was saying, "It's been there all along, silly!" and we had worried for no reason.

Every time there would be another child, I was worried about where we were going to put him or her when we brought them home! So we would get the next one home, and there we would find new rooms in the house that we had forgotten we had!

It was craziness!

Now, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow we have a houseful of new windows being installed, and I have to dress for a funeral around the window crew.

Lovely.

About those miracles

Today God worked one of those miracles we were talking about. Not one for my family, but for a little boy on the other side of the world. One little boy is no longer "lost", he now has a forever family! Praise God for Aaron and the Nalle family!

God can do ANYTHING, right?

I know God can do anything. ANYTHING.

a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.

There is an entire book full of miracles that He performed, and I, personally, have witnessed miracles he has performed in my life, and in the lives of my friends and family members. I'm sure you have probably witnessed many as well.

There are 15 weeks left in 2010. We expect to have our homestudy report in our hand by the end of next week, and can then send it off to USCIS for approval.

We're under a time crunch. If we can complete one adoption before the end of 2010, as in...get one child's feet onto U.S soil by midnight on December 31st, we should have the funds to complete a second adoption next spring. It will take noting less than a miracle for one adoption to be completed by the end of the year. NOTHING LESS!

We believe in miracles! Do you? What kind of miracles will God pull off in our family this year?

Whew!

Homestudy visit is DONE! Is it a good or a bad thing when the social worker says, "Wow, your family is really interesting!" I'm going to take it as a good thing, cuz that's how I roll.

Right before she left I showed her the puppies. They're irresistible now!

Home visit

Tomorrow is our home visit! If you've been reading my facebook status updates, you know I'm feeling a little stressed out lately.  What is the social worker going to look at? (Please tell me she's not going to look in the laundry room.)

I know she is going to want to see Ianna's bedroom. And that we have smoke/CO detectors. What else?

Have I mentioned I have a litter of puppies here? Have I mentioned how much a litter of puppies happens to smell? Thankfully this visit isn't happening a month from now because the smell only gets worse from here! And thankfully there are only 5 puppies and not 13 like we've had in previous litters! I think I'm gonna go buy a frozen apple pie to put in the oven at...oh....say...4:00 so the house is smelling good and yummy! (thanks to my sisters for that suggestion! Here I thought she meant to bake one from scratch! Silly me! HA!)

 For now, I'm going to go soak in the tub with a book and FORCE myself to go to bed early tonight. I've been staying up late too many nights in a row,  then my nights have been interrupted, so I've been struggling to stay motivated during they day. Lots to do tomorrow. Goodnight!

A PICTURE!!!!

Ok, this is NOT the picture you were waiting for, but it was a good teaser, wasn't it? Yeah, well it's the same type of teaser I got yesterday! See this envelope?

It is supposed to be a ticket with an appointment to get fingerprinted with at the immigration office. But it's not! Instead its a letter letting me know they've received my $836 check and have created a file with my name on it, and will be sending me a ticket at a later date. Isn't that nice of them to let me know I now have a file? Now why in the world wouldn't they process the whole thing at once, giving me a date, print the ticket to mail to me instead of this letter telling me they'll send me a ticket "later"? No wonder the federal government wastes so much money.

Feeling renewed

I think most adoptive parents will say that at various points throughout the process they hit some valleys. Times where they just felt not only overwhelmed, but flat out hopeless about the circumstances. The past few days was certainly one of those points for me. I knew exactly why it was happening, but I didn't know what to do about it.

The problem was Dean and I were not in the same place emotionally and spiritually and I couldn't just grab his hand and drag along.  He was feeling really scared about stuff and not talking and I was doing the "It'll all work out in the end." and it was driving him crazy. It didn't help that we've been really busy and had not taken the time to sit down and talk about what was going on.

Last night we had a homestudy class. I realized I get to talk to other adoptive parents all the time, but Dean doesn't. We were the only family there who is adopting for the first time, the others are on their second or higher adoption. This was the first real chance Dean's had to sit down and hear other adoptive parents talk, particularly about the money flying out the door, and how scary that is sometimes, and fundraising, and wondering how they're coming up with the next chunk of cash, etc. He's anxious to connect with other adoptive families so we have a support system in the adoptive community. I feel well connected, him...not so much. We'll be fixing that.

The meeting got out about an hour earlier than we expected so we had time to stop somewhere and just sit and talk. It was nice to finally regroup from the past couple of weeks. We talked about our options for the very near future, and we prayed for Ianna and the people in charge of making the decisions for her future. The whole evening has me feeling re-energized and like I can almost see the light at the end of the homestudy tunnel! If we can just get the homestudy done that is a major hurdle!

hopeless

Today it all feels hopeless, just hopeless. And yet how can I have so little hope when everything God has said and done in the last 5 months and 4 days has been yes, yes, yes, and more yes? I am the one keeping the hope going for the two of us, and it is exhausting. I am the one keeping the faith about money and it is exhausting.

When things get in the least bit difficult, some people tuck their tails and run while others tie their rain gear a little tighter and lean into the wind. I'm headed to find my rain gear.

Nothing

There is nothing to report because our family profile was not submitted.

............Insert long dramatic sigh here...................

Instead Ianna's case was discussed at length, and the options for her. (which are not many.) I'm not able to give all the detail. Some day, I'll be able to come back and fill in the blanks. All I can say for now she  needs even more prayer that she did last week. How can that be? How can I ask for even MORE?

In the meantime, we are plugging along on our homestudy. We hope to have it done in the next three weeks.

Documents left to collect:
Physical for me and Angela

Left to do:
Attend Class on 9/13
1 Homestudy visit

Expenses left:
Homestudy: $1300 (due at second visit, sometime in the next two weeks)
Adoption Agency: $2000 (due asap)
Country fee $8000 (when we travel, whenever that is)
Airfare: $3500 (this will depend upon if all 3 of us go, or just me. Right now the plan is all 3 of us. Also includes airfare for the child we're bringing home.)
Hotel, meals, etc: $1500

The fact that we had to buy a car this week set us back a bit so we're scrambling a little to come up with our next $3300. If we had another 6 weeks we'd be fine, but we don't. Our prayer? That the four other puppies sleeping in my office get sold, because getting them sold will cover the cost! Our puppies are ALWAYS sold by now, so it is very strange to us that our phone has been silent. I've even had people test my website email to make sure it's working! Once this next $3300 is paid and our homestudy completed there are a couple of older child adoption grants we can apply for. Then things won't seem quite so scary!

Heavenly Herbicide

"But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure." Romans 8:25


I am working so hard on that "patience and composure" part. I have a long way to go in that area. Ack! Who am I kidding? I'm not even patient at all, and I can't even begin to describe "composure" to you. 


God has spent 14 years with me in this garden called "patience" and "control", making me pull weeds day after day, year after year. Just when I think I have the rows clear of all the weeds, I look over and new ones have sprouted in the first rows I did. I'm tired, hot, thirsty, and my back hurts. If I don't keep pulling the weeds, my garden will be choked out by all the weeds and that's all I'll have left. But if I DO keep pulling them, and doing what God has me set out to do, my garden will eventually produce some beautiful bounty, one that I can even share with others. 


Over the course of today I have watched a couple of families who participated in yesterday's fasting prayer get wonderful news! What a wonderful event that was to participate in. As I read their stories and prayed for their families, I thanked God for letting me see Him working in the lives of all these people, because it gives me hope for Ianna when sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all that lies ahead. Did you know doubt is fertilizer for weeds? It makes them multiply exponentially! Today my weeds were in the form of several emails, composed but unsent, to our facilitator on the other side of the world. I wanted to ask if she'd heard any news. That's not being very patient, is it? I know she will contact me as soon as she gets word. But doubt + fertilizer x weeds = unnecessary worry. 


Thankfully I never sent the emails. Instead they sat in my draft box...waiting....tonight when reality kicked in and I was able to comprehend what it was all about, I deleted them. I must be patient. I must go back to pulling the weeds, and praying weed killer on them! 

PRAISE GOD!!!!!

LOOK AT WHAT GOD HAS DONE FOR AARON!!!! Never again will we call him the "Little Boy Lost"! Aaron has a forever family now! PRAISE GOD!!!!!

Little Boy Lost

Lord, to you no child is lost, no child is forsaken. We know that you are using Aaron, and the path Rob and Julia are on,  to pave the way for many more children to come out of the institution he is in.

A new path is never smooth. It takes time, and the feet of many before it is worn smooth. Rob and Julia are the first to travel this path. The are laying down the first stones, and nobody knows where to put them. Most of them are not even cut! It takes a strong journeyman to make such a path through the wilderness, and Rob and Julia are just that. Their children at home are strong too, or you would not have chosen them to be part of the journey.

Today's court is is the laying of the last foundational stones.

Lord, your journeyman are tired. They have battled long and hard to for this child. They have followed your every directive without fail. They are the best of warriors in this battle for the orphan. At this very moment, they are sitting in a court room in Ukraine, with Aaron who everyone feels should not be there. We know you had your reasons Lord, even if we cannot understand them. Lord, in this very moment in time, bring peace and calm to the hearts of Rob and Julia, to Aaron, and to all the others involved. Peel away the onion layers on the heart of the judge, and let her see the possibilities for this boy, and for all the others behind him. Let the blood of Christ wash over that courtroom now, and let all who sit inside be protected, and blessed in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

A Fasting Prayer

A Boatload of Dreams is hosting a Fasting Prayer for Orphans today. (sorry, I'm just now finding out about it!) If you've been following along with Aaron's family, you know tomorrow is a HUGE day for him. This little boy, who has never been out of the Ukrainian institution where he has spent his entire life, is being forced to go to court, before a judge, who will decide if he can be adopted. It is craziness. This will happen at 3:00 a.m. our time. THEY NEED OUR PRAYERS!!!

As for us, our profile was presented to the Ministry Officials in Ianna's country last night. I cannot give you all of our personal details here, but just know if they approve our family profile it will be monumental. Not only for Ianna, but for other families who want to adopt from this country. And, if they approve our profile, Ianna's casemanager will be contacted, and it will be explained why it is not a waste of his or her precious time to register this child for international adoption just because she has craniofacial differences.

Oh, how I long for the day when I can share pictures and videos for you. I have many just burning holes in my hard drive waiting to be posted here!

Please join my in a fasting prayer for Aaron and Ianna as we wait to hear the news on each of the children. We should hear about both of them within a few hours of each other!

Date to note

5 months ago today, I met Ianna for the first time. Just thought I'd point that out.

TONIGHT

Ianna's country is 7 hours ahead of us. See that little bird over there? He told me it's very possible that tonight while we're sleeping, which will make it Wednesday in that country,  there will be a meeting taking place on the other side of the world. That is when our family profile will be submitted to the Ministry Officials in Ianna's country. We should have an answer within a few days as to weather or not they've accepted our profile.

There is still the step of getting Ianna legally registered for international adoption. If our profile is accepted, it will be an incentive for her case manager to get her registered since they will know there is already a family pre-approved to for her.

Guess who will not be sleeping the next couple of nights? Who am I kidding? I didn't sleep LAST night! LOL

HERE IT COMES!!!!

Ok, this is MAJOR folks! This is a HUGE step, and it needs MASSIVE PRAYERS!!! THIS is why my stomach was in knots the other night, only I didn't know why until now!

Today I got an email from the other side of the world.

Later this week, our family profile will be submitted to the officials of Ianna's country. This is the profile I labored over, to get every word just right. It is the one I sent back in July to have translated into their language. It is this profile that describes our family, tells our story, and why we....us....Dean, Angela and I, would be a family worthy of adopting a child from their country, between the ages of 9 and 11 years old, who just happens to have Apert syndrome.

Our family is a complicated one; difficult to explain to someone who doesn't speak your language and lives by different laws.  Did I say the right things? Did I say enough? Too much? Will they find us worthy? Please Lord, YOU told us we are worthy, let them see that too.

Prayers in the Night

While it is the middle of the night here in the midwest of the U.S, the other side of the world is just waking up. It is the quiet of the morning there.

I picture my friend sitting at her table, finishing a cup of coffee before she heads to work.

Her day is exhausting. Every day she cares for the children in the care center where Ianna lives. She does the best she possibly can with what little funds she is given. Her love for them is genuine. Were it not for her, children like Sasha, Jovan and Christina, or Griffyn (just to name a few) would not be tucked into beds in the homes of their forever families as I type.

Every day, this woman must struggle against a society that has deemed these children "unadoptable",  instead finding ways to beg and plead their cases to those who make the decisions, that yes...there ARE families who WANT these children.

I know this woman's heart is weary. I know she is tired. I know she must wonder how she can keep doing her job day in, and day out. Once in awhile she gets to see miracles. She gets to see the Sasha's go home! She gets to see the Jovans, Christinas, Griffyns and the few others go home! This month there are a few others who will be going home. They are miracles too!

But there is one....there is one child who I know she does not think she will ever see join a family. She has told me time and again. When we were there, she was excited that we would want to adopt her, but once the error was found, she lost all hope. It is an error that CAN be fixed, but there are many variables, and the variables in this case are stacked against this child. Still, they are not impossible.

Tonight, in the middle of the night,  I feel an urgency like no other night before. Decisions are now in hand of those who make them.

Lord, please bless this woman as she enters the doors of the care center today. Let her see, hear, and feel your miracles. Let her know what a blessing she is to these children. Let the staff around her understand how valuable she is is. Let them feel her strength, even when she doesn't feel strong herself. Let the children feel her loving touch. Let those who make the necessary decisions for this child see her value, let them see that here she could have a very normal life, in a family that is hers FOREVER without threat of ever being moved again.

Lord, you are the ABBA father.
Mark 14
35He (Jesus) went on a little farther and fell to the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. 36“Abba, Father,”^h he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

I600A

Today I put our I600A in an overnight envelope to Lewisville, Texas, to request an appointment to get fingerprinted by the Department of Immigration or something. I dunno. Someone is gonna fingerprint us again only this time it's "fer real". LOL The first time is just for the criminal background check, which is why we only pay $25. But this time it is the read deal, and costs $670, plus $80 for each person over 18 who lives in the house.

Now, usually you don't make this request until your homestudy is complete, but ours is waiting on one piece of paper. (ok, three, but who's counting?) before our first visit, and a class we have to go to on the 13th. Then about the time the homestudy is done, the USCIS (the place we sent that check and numbered form to) will send us a fancy ticket. That ticket is an appointment date for the immigration office in St. Paul where we can get our fingerprints done. Then those fingerprints are sent, along with our completed homestudy, BACK to...umm....Texas or something. Total time for all of this is about 3 weeks, give or take 6 months.

By the time these things are done, we will have heard SOMETHING about Ianna. Right now all I get from the other side of the world is silence.

Just silence.

What about the others?

This is copied from my other blog. It is a post I wrote while on my trip to the other side of the world this past April. This story needs to be shared. Please link to it (but please don't copy it!)
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There are many children in the orphanages who will never be adopted, either because nobody wants them, or because they have been deemed "unadoptable".

When I met "M" (pictured below in my previous post) and after spending some time with her, I made the comment, "She has so much potential! She will take off if only she is given the chance at a family." The staff looked at me as if I had just grown 3 heads right before their eyes.

You see, in their culture, "having potential" doesn't have the same meaning it does to me. To them, it means being able to have a college education, or at a minimum go to a regular school. To me it means the child has the DESIRE and ABILITY to communicate, and I can see how quickly he or she attempts to interract with me. For M, it took less than 5 minutes to teach her three signs. "Me", "More", and "camera".

There comes a point when someone has to decide which children's names will be placed on the list that says they are free for adoption. "M", wasn't one of those children. When we asked why, we were told, "Who would want her? There are so few families, we save the spots for those who are more likely to find a family."

Later, a staff person asked me to explain to her what I meant when I said a child had potential, because clearly "smart" to me had a different meaning than it did to the people of their country. You have to understand, this person has a heart for these children. She will FOREVER be a friend to me. She is working against a society who doesn't understand WHY in the world we would want these children. Is it any wonder their biological parents don't want to take them home when they will only be stared at by strangers, and ridiculed by their friends?

I explained that there is a family for EVERY SINGLE CHILD THERE, no matter how severely delayed they are, even if they are nothing more than breathing lumps of skin and bones taking up space. To be honest, after years of institutional life, there are many children who would fit just this description. But somewhere, deep inside them, is a spirit, and a spirit doesn't need a whole, fully functioning physical body to live! So yes, there is a family for every child, but those families will never know their child is out there...waiting...unless they are made available for adoption and we can talk about them! Without exposure to the world of parents who are searching for THEIR child, these children will die a miserable death. Just last week, two children died in this facility...and they died alone.

I pray that we convinced her to get every child on that list that they can. While it seems an impossible goal to find a home for every child, God has no limits! HE knows where every child belongs, weather it be in his arms or in the arms of earthly parents.

Here is a child who is considered "unadoptable".

Do you see how big my hand is on his chest? Guess his age. No, you're not even close, guess again. He is 21 months old, and he is the size of the average American 4 month old. This lack of growth doesn't have anything to do with his heart condition, but rather his life in an institution with a lack of physical stimulation. He has Down syndrome, and a severe heart defect....and he is blind. He was afraid of me when I first touched him. A voice speaking sounds he doesn't understand, a hand he couldn't touch because he had socks over them to stop him from chewing on them. And yet, it only took a few minutes of stroking his face, and talking to him softly, telling how much God loves him, before I got this

Giggles that came all the way from his toes!!!! And with that giggle the tears came streaming down my cheeks, because the reality was just too much for me to comprehend.

This boy spends his days in a crib, either sitting in an infant seat on the floor (or sometimes it's sitting in the crib) or just laying in his bed, waiting for the next time a caregiver has a moment to come check on him. If he's lucky, they'll have time to hold him. He has a roommate who will be going home to his forever family soon. A little boy with no arms and legs, but is cognitively normal. His other roommate cries all the time, but her cries are not always answered. Even so, she'll go home to a family before too long.

But this boy? No. Not him. He will spend his days isolated in the darkness of blindness, listening to the sounds of the world go by in the hallway, all the while waiting.........just waiting.......and eventually his waiting will end and he'll find himself in the arms of a father who loves him more than any of us ever could.

Sometimes I have to be slapped in the face

Sometimes that's what it takes for me to wake up and take a look around at reality. Does that ever happen to you? Maybe I was just so wrapped up in the goings on with whelping new puppies that I couldn't see what was happened, or rather, what wasn't happening around here!

And here I was, whining that nothing was happening with the homestudy and other stuff.

Of course nothing was happening! Why in the world would God be moving anything forward when I wasn't getting my own pieces done? Because even though I only have two tiny pieces left to do, the fact is, I still needed to do them, and I was putting them off without any good reason other than I didn't want to drag Angela along to do them. That would be an inconvenience...GASP! Well, there is also the fact I don't have a car of my own to use at the moment. I do have my in-law's car here, but I promised not to use it unless I *have* to. Monday or Tuesday I'll have a care again. THANK YOU GOD!

So this morning I was on the phone with the homestudy agency. I've been trying to get in touch with them for a few days, and we kept missing each other. Remember yesterday when I said, "This is where you remind me everything happens for a reason."? WELL IT DOES!!!! Together we decided to do a couple of steps out of order while we wait for something to come back. I'm going to go ahead and get our I600A filed (that's fingerprints) and the social worker from the homestudy agency is discussing something with the USCIS or something like that (I get all those agencies confused!) and then they'll be here for their first homestudy visit. Dean and I will be attending our homestudy training class thingy on the 13th, so we are ROLLING!