Join Angela, Axel, Abel and Asher as they welcome their new sibling home.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Removal

Yep, I just had a blog post up, and I removed it. I can do that. But this post is about another type of removal.

 I have been part of a certain adoption community for the past couple of years. In the process of our adoption, and since bringing Axel home I have gleaned much information from the group. Since bringing him home, the support I've received by reading within that group has been immeasurable.  A couple days ago I was removed from a community. No explanation was given for my removal, nor emails returned.  I have not done or said anything to anyone within the group that would warrant such action.

What I DID do, was I DID bring to light, without pointing fingers or naming names, some things that were happening during our adoption process, and after I did, other families came forward to say the same thing had happened to them, I was just the first one to speak up about it. If people don't speak up when they run into a problem, it perpetuates it, and causes the families coming behind them to deal with the same issues or sometimes even worse.

Speaking your opinion in some communities is bad. Being a whistleblower is even worse.  Emails were sent out to all the families who previously adopted from the same country we did, which were forwarded to me by several of those people. People were warned to stay away from me. That I am a liar and only telling 1/2 truths. The only truth left for me to post would be actual names and dates and dollar amounts that we were asked for above and beyond what was agreed upon in our adoption. I would be more than happy to post those things, but they would only jeopardize the adoptions that other families are hoping to complete in the next couple of months. And really, posting those details would only add to the "he said/she said" junk that is going on. I won't be pulled into that game any further.

I was even blamed, and told that if something happened to the adoption program in that country, it would be on my shoulders. Wow...if one single person holds that much power, it's a pretty weak program to begin with. But wait...one person DID hold that much power, and put fear into the hearts of parents, including myself, who were doing nothing more than trying to get their children home. Because I and others did speak up, there were changes made so the families who are coming behind me won't be running into the same problems I and other families faced. Because a light has been shined on them, some people are now watching their steps a bit closer and being held slightly more accountable.

It is my personal opinion that if a person or organization only has one or two contacts within a country, the information they receive is going to be severely slanted. It's never good to have only one option. I was lucky. Just days before I left to get Axel,  God put me in contact with an entire pool of other people, and I have since met several more. When one person doesn't know the answer to a question, I have others I can go to. Best of all, there is no longer a gatekeeper to deal with. I can get my information directly from the source and not have to worry weather or not what I'm being told is the truth.

I am so over it. I'm tired of sitting behind the scenes, watching the stuff that is talked about behind the backs of families. Personal information that is shared by "professionals" to others who have no business having the information, totally disrespecting any form of privacy to those families. Weather those families were/are in the wrong or not, privacy still needs to be respected. And when other families were discussed in the way they were, it leaves no doubt in my mind how my family has been discussed with others.

Although we have lost much of our support system, we have something better. We have truth.

13 comments:

  1. Psalm 15:1-2

    “O Lord, who may stay in your tent?
    Who may live on your holy mountain?

    The one who walks with integrity,
    does what is righteous,
    and SPEAKS THE TRUTH WITHIN HIS/HER HEART.”

    I kinda like the idea of living on the same mountain as you ;)

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  2. Hugs. I am sorry this is happening.

    Be blessed

    Ashlee

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  3. I am so sorry, Leah! I know this must be terribly upsetting to you and your family. Praying for peace in your heart!

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  4. I'm scratching my head... but I'm very happy that you are a "whistle blower" if it means that other families won't have to go through what you did. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this Leah. Hugs & prayers for you and your family!!

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  5. I am getting a bit disappointed in said organization... with you being the third person saying something similar in less than a week. :(

    But yes, truth is more important.

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  6. It is sad when something so worthy, valuable and life changing as international adoption is corrupted by those who are supposed to be helping. I am glad that you had the courage to speak the truth, not only for yourself, but for all those who will follow. How grateful I am that God, who judges all, sees into the hidden recesses of our hearts. Keep your chin up!

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  7. Could it be that a certain organisation has "growing pains" - that it has grown rather fast in a rather short time, which could make the need of people bigger than the supply of "right" people? Just some thinking and I may of course be totally wrong.

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  8. I am clueless but sorry. I hope whatever you did/said helps those who need it. That's the best we can do.

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  9. Been there, done that!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It may not be the same organization but I TOTALLY understand!
    Hang in there!

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  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  11. Keep the faith. You can only choose how you behave. I am wishing you a clear path filled with joy.

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