One of the most difficult events I've ever participated in during the course of our adoptions was the last goodbye for Audrey.
On the second day of my visits to the foster home I was allowed to take Audrey for the day. We brought her back to our hotel room and played. (it was pouring rain or we would have gone and done some fun stuff!)
I was told what time to bring her back to the foster home, and that her birth family would be there to say goodbye.
I didn't know if I could do this. I didn't know if I could witness this event. It is a lot of heartache, and I just didn't know if I could do it.
We arrived at the foster home and her birth family arrived just a few minutes behind us. Her mother, aunt, and two teenage sisters. I had already been informed the birth father had passed away the year before.
We spent two hours visiting and playing charades to understand one another. It was a bit awkward, but not uncomfortable. I ended up leaving before the birth family did. I cannot imagine how difficult this was for them, and I'm glad they were able to have that time with Audrey without me there. They were able to say goodbye in their own way.
I have so much more I could say, but it is very private, and is Audrey's story. And her first family's story. We will be able to stay in contact should they decide to.
Adoption is trauma, in all kinds of different ways.
On the second day of my visits to the foster home I was allowed to take Audrey for the day. We brought her back to our hotel room and played. (it was pouring rain or we would have gone and done some fun stuff!)
I was told what time to bring her back to the foster home, and that her birth family would be there to say goodbye.
I didn't know if I could do this. I didn't know if I could witness this event. It is a lot of heartache, and I just didn't know if I could do it.
We arrived at the foster home and her birth family arrived just a few minutes behind us. Her mother, aunt, and two teenage sisters. I had already been informed the birth father had passed away the year before.
We spent two hours visiting and playing charades to understand one another. It was a bit awkward, but not uncomfortable. I ended up leaving before the birth family did. I cannot imagine how difficult this was for them, and I'm glad they were able to have that time with Audrey without me there. They were able to say goodbye in their own way.
I have so much more I could say, but it is very private, and is Audrey's story. And her first family's story. We will be able to stay in contact should they decide to.
Adoption is trauma, in all kinds of different ways.
What a privilege and also a heartache moment to meet Audrey's family. You can feel a glimpse of how hard it would be to in your shoes in such a moment. As hard as it was for her family, I pray they have some peace having met you and Axel and seeing how much you love this little girl and also see how much she loves you and how comfortable with you she is. The blessing in it is that when Audrey is older and asks you questions about them, you will be able to tell her and show her pictures of who loves her.
ReplyDelete