Yep, I just had a blog post up, and I removed it. I can do that. But this post is about another type of removal.
I have been part of a certain adoption community for the past couple of years. In the process of our adoption, and since bringing Axel home I have gleaned much information from the group. Since bringing him home, the support I've received by reading within that group has been immeasurable. A couple days ago I was removed from a community. No explanation was given for my removal, nor emails returned. I have not done or said anything to anyone within the group that would warrant such action.
What I DID do, was I DID bring to light, without pointing fingers or naming names, some things that were happening during our adoption process, and after I did, other families came forward to say the same thing had happened to them, I was just the first one to speak up about it. If people don't speak up when they run into a problem, it perpetuates it, and causes the families coming behind them to deal with the same issues or sometimes even worse.
Speaking your opinion in some communities is bad. Being a whistleblower is even worse. Emails were sent out to all the families who previously adopted from the same country we did, which were forwarded to me by several of those people. People were warned to stay away from me. That I am a liar and only telling 1/2 truths. The only truth left for me to post would be actual names and dates and dollar amounts that we were asked for above and beyond what was agreed upon in our adoption. I would be more than happy to post those things, but they would only jeopardize the adoptions that other families are hoping to complete in the next couple of months. And really, posting those details would only add to the "he said/she said" junk that is going on. I won't be pulled into that game any further.
I was even blamed, and told that if something happened to the adoption program in that country, it would be on my shoulders. Wow...if one single person holds that much power, it's a pretty weak program to begin with. But wait...one person DID hold that much power, and put fear into the hearts of parents, including myself, who were doing nothing more than trying to get their children home. Because I and others did speak up, there were changes made so the families who are coming behind me won't be running into the same problems I and other families faced. Because a light has been shined on them, some people are now watching their steps a bit closer and being held slightly more accountable.
It is my personal opinion that if a person or organization only has one or two contacts within a country, the information they receive is going to be severely slanted. It's never good to have only one option. I was lucky. Just days before I left to get Axel, God put me in contact with an entire pool of other people, and I have since met several more. When one person doesn't know the answer to a question, I have others I can go to. Best of all, there is no longer a gatekeeper to deal with. I can get my information directly from the source and not have to worry weather or not what I'm being told is the truth.
I am so over it. I'm tired of sitting behind the scenes, watching the stuff that is talked about behind the backs of families. Personal information that is shared by "professionals" to others who have no business having the information, totally disrespecting any form of privacy to those families. Weather those families were/are in the wrong or not, privacy still needs to be respected. And when other families were discussed in the way they were, it leaves no doubt in my mind how my family has been discussed with others.
Although we have lost much of our support system, we have something better. We have truth.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Update
Yes, we are updating...our homestudy.
We do not know the who/where/what (as in boy or girl) yet. Our hearts and minds are open and that's all we can do for now. We continue to pray for the specific children who've had our hearts for months, that God will keep them safe. We are moving forward in blind faith; belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
We do not know the who/where/what (as in boy or girl) yet. Our hearts and minds are open and that's all we can do for now. We continue to pray for the specific children who've had our hearts for months, that God will keep them safe. We are moving forward in blind faith; belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Answers to Questions
Well, it is no surprise I have had many questions today. Some privately and some in blog comments. The questions asked in blog comments that included names have not been published for obvious reasons.
I cannot give you any more information on my blog that what I have already included. There are other families working on adoptions in that country, some traveling now or at least very shortly, and they deserve to have a positive adoption experience, which I'm sure they will. I'm very excited to see their children coming home!
If you have a question, please ask privately via email at deanleah at comcast dot net
I cannot give you any more information on my blog that what I have already included. There are other families working on adoptions in that country, some traveling now or at least very shortly, and they deserve to have a positive adoption experience, which I'm sure they will. I'm very excited to see their children coming home!
If you have a question, please ask privately via email at deanleah at comcast dot net
Crossroads with broken hearts
Some of you were around back in December, when I was in country adopting Axel and checked up on Ianna. I wrote an update about her in this post.
We found out a several weeks ago that she is not in a foster home, but in another institution. We found out two weeks ago that her health is very bad. "Life threatening". We found out yesterday that the Ministry will no longer do anything about her legal status because her health is too bad, and that "at this time, adoption either domestically or internationally is not in her best interest." They said it could change if her health improves, but this is highly unlikely. Because she is NOT able to be adopted, they could not give me any more information than that.
Our hearts ache for this child. I know that she is in pain. Her vision is most likely gone. She is suffering.
So, Dean and I are at a crossroads. We have the ability to adopt one more time, but the time to complete a second adoption is very limited. Eastern European governments shut down for much of the summer, and I go back to school in September. This particular country has the fastest process, and I'm now able to work directly through the ministry and not have to deal with unscrupulous people.
We are praying that if there is another child who is to be filling our last empty bedroom, that God make him or her known to us. Angela really wants a sister. We want whatever God wants.
We found out a several weeks ago that she is not in a foster home, but in another institution. We found out two weeks ago that her health is very bad. "Life threatening". We found out yesterday that the Ministry will no longer do anything about her legal status because her health is too bad, and that "at this time, adoption either domestically or internationally is not in her best interest." They said it could change if her health improves, but this is highly unlikely. Because she is NOT able to be adopted, they could not give me any more information than that.
Our hearts ache for this child. I know that she is in pain. Her vision is most likely gone. She is suffering.
So, Dean and I are at a crossroads. We have the ability to adopt one more time, but the time to complete a second adoption is very limited. Eastern European governments shut down for much of the summer, and I go back to school in September. This particular country has the fastest process, and I'm now able to work directly through the ministry and not have to deal with unscrupulous people.
We are praying that if there is another child who is to be filling our last empty bedroom, that God make him or her known to us. Angela really wants a sister. We want whatever God wants.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Update on Axel
Axel is doing fantastic! I can't even begin to describe how amazing this child is.
That said, if you're not following my other blog then you may not know that Axel was diagnosed with AAI. He has already suffered damage to the space that contains the Cerebral Spinal Fluid, as well as to his spinal cord from too much movement between the vertabrae. He also has damage to the disk between c2 and c3.
Next week he and I are headed to Shriner's Children's Hospital in Philadelphia to meet with the surgeon who will be doing Axel's spinal fusion. Once the surgery is done Axel will then be in a halo for 6 months following surgery.
Axel can use all the prayers he can get! Because he already has damage to his spinal cord, he is at significant risk of catastrophic spinal cord injury. There is a button below that you're welcome to share by copying the code beneath it. All further updates about the surgery will be on my regular blog. Also, I am *trying* to get Angela contributing to her blog more (mostly via video) which is kinda fun to read.
That said, if you're not following my other blog then you may not know that Axel was diagnosed with AAI. He has already suffered damage to the space that contains the Cerebral Spinal Fluid, as well as to his spinal cord from too much movement between the vertabrae. He also has damage to the disk between c2 and c3.
Next week he and I are headed to Shriner's Children's Hospital in Philadelphia to meet with the surgeon who will be doing Axel's spinal fusion. Once the surgery is done Axel will then be in a halo for 6 months following surgery.
Axel can use all the prayers he can get! Because he already has damage to his spinal cord, he is at significant risk of catastrophic spinal cord injury. There is a button below that you're welcome to share by copying the code beneath it. All further updates about the surgery will be on my regular blog. Also, I am *trying* to get Angela contributing to her blog more (mostly via video) which is kinda fun to read.
Monday, January 31, 2011
CoC
Axel has been home for 48 days today, and today his Certificate of Citizenship arrived. This certificate gives him the same rights that every American has if they were born here in the U.S.
That means tomorrow he and I will be taking a trip down to the Social Security office to apply for his social security number.
That means tomorrow he and I will be taking a trip down to the Social Security office to apply for his social security number.
Prayers please
I can't go into specifics right now, but we need prayers for our next step. LOTS of them. Hopefully in a week or so I'll be able to be more detailed.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Waiting
Picture an old-fashioned covered porch, with a rocking chair, in the stillness of the countryside. There is someone sitting in that chair. Quietly rocking. Watching the world go by. Quietly waiting. Always waiting. Always rocking. Patiently waiting. Then IT will happen. The waiting will end and the person will get up and walk down the porch steps. Moving because the waiting has ended.
I am the person.
Waiting.
And when the waiting ends, I will get up and DO. When the waiting ends, the doing begins.
I am waiting to do something.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Amazing!
Do you want to know how amazing our God is? You KNOW you do!
In 2009, there were 76 children who found their forever families through Reece's Rainbow.
In 2010 153 children were brought home!!! 153!!! That is almost 3 children per week! LOOK at all the faces of the children who came home this year.
That is how amazing our God is! So many people contributed SO MUCH to help us...the families who adopted...to bring our children home. There was monetary support, there was "behind the scenes" work, there was support.
What do you suppose He is going to do in 2011? I happen to know that 2011 is going to be even better!
In 2009, there were 76 children who found their forever families through Reece's Rainbow.
In 2010 153 children were brought home!!! 153!!! That is almost 3 children per week! LOOK at all the faces of the children who came home this year.
That is how amazing our God is! So many people contributed SO MUCH to help us...the families who adopted...to bring our children home. There was monetary support, there was "behind the scenes" work, there was support.
What do you suppose He is going to do in 2011? I happen to know that 2011 is going to be even better!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Axel
His name is Axel.
I have now had custody of Axel for 32 days, and he has been home for 19 days.
Since he was never tested we have no idea how long his hearing has been bad. It could be his entire life, or only a few years. Whatever it is, I don't think he ever heard Serbian very well, and I don't know how well he recognized his name when he was there.
His name is Axel.
I have now had custody of Axel for 32 days, and he has been home for 19 days.
Since he was never tested we have no idea how long his hearing has been bad. It could be his entire life, or only a few years. Whatever it is, I don't think he ever heard Serbian very well, and I don't know how well he recognized his name when he was there.
Today I found an old pair of Angela's hearing aids with a volume switch on them (most of the newer aids don't have them anymore) and old ear molds of Angela's that actually sit kind of decent in his ears. To give you an idea how small Axel's ears are, these were Angela's ear molds in 1st grade!!! Angela wore them with the volume at 1.5. For Axel I cranked the volume up to "3".
We sat on the couch, and I whispered his Serbian nickname "Djole" (not sure that's how it's spelled though.) and he didn't recognize it. I said it a little louder, in a normal tone of voice. He didn't turn or flinch or anything. I used his full name "Djordje", and he didn't recognize that either. I turned on a video of some of my Serbian friends saying his name (since they say it correctly and I probably don't!) and he still didn't turn. There was nothing. No reaction.
Then I whispered it. His name. Axel. He turned and gave me a HUGE smile, then signed his name sign. Gave me his silly laugh and went back to what he was doing.
Then I whispered it. His name. Axel. He turned and gave me a HUGE smile, then signed his name sign. Gave me his silly laugh and went back to what he was doing.
His name is Axel.
*note, Axel's birth certificate will still list Djordje as his middle name, so it's not completely gone.*
Friday, December 31, 2010
Major error
Go back and read this post first. Pay particular attention to the paragraph JUST ABOVE where I'm signing the adoption decree.
Fast forward a couple of weeks when Axel and I came home. When the the US Embassy is finished completing the visa, they give you two things: a stack of original documents, and *the sealed envelope* that is the child's visa and is given to Immigration in your port of entry, which for us was Chicago. The originals were to go back to our facilitator, because some of them go back to the city where the adoption took place. (2 hours away.) There were some issues in the last couple of days, and I did not meet with our facilitator. Instead I was instructed where to drop the papers off.
A few days later when we were home, and I was filling out papers for Axel's health insurance, I realized I needed to give then a copy of the birth certificate (and possibly the adoption decree? Not sure on that one.) I realized that when I gave the Visa paperwork to Immigration, the only thing I got back was Axel's passport. I didn't have one single document stating that I had just adopted this child, and that he was mine. I only had a passport that listed his last name being the same as mine.
I called my adoption agency, and the agency staff person said, "Umm...you got out of that country without ANY documents listing him as yours??? How did you do THAT?"
Umm...I have no clue.
The in-country attorney was contacted, and she put the documents in the mail to my adoption agency last week, who would then overnight them to me. They arrived to the agency yesterday.
And here is where the MAJOR error was found on the adoption decree. It was one that I caught at the time I was given the decree to read over, and I pointed it out. The person doing the paperwork turned back to the computer to fix it, then printed it out for me to sign.
I signed. We had the ceremony, and came home a few days later. I did not see the decree again after I signed it.
My adoption agency staff person got the decree and birth certificate yesterday, and found that major error was STILL on the papers, in TWO PLACES!
Honestly, I'm laughing only because that is all I can do at this point. The annoying part is I need these documents to get Axel's insurance in place, and we have a week FULL of appointments coming up!
I'm hoping that for now they could just fax me a copy of the decree for me to use for insurance purposes while we wait for it in the mail. But...it's already the middle of the night there on New Year's day. Lovely.
Don't forget him
How was your Christmas? Did your children enjoy it? Were they inundated with gifts and love from their family?
Picture your child, living in a family but feeling insecure in his place at the table. Why? Because the people around him have told him, "You're not staying here. You're not welcome to stay here. If a family is not found for you soon, you'll go to live in an orphanage for older boys and adults. Prepare yourself, it won't be easy there."
Those are the thoughts Marjan lives with every day.
Marjan is the sweetest boy! When I visited him in his foster home in April, he was appropriately shy for a 9 year old boy. It was clear he was uncomfortable with the adults talking about him as he sat right there on the couch by me. I tried to play some games with him, to keep his ears off the discussion taking place; discussion about how well he was doing in school, how smart he is, but also how it was time for him to move on. He needs to be adopted or he'll be moved.
Marjan's social workers are the same ones who were in charge of Axel's care. The guardian who was assigned to Axel's case is the one responsible for training the foster families in the area. I can tell you, from the care that Axel received, that they have gotten very good training. Marjan's foster brother (who is in his 20's) made sure to tell us many times what a GOOD boy Marjan is, and it was clear he is concerned that is brother find a good family who will love him forever.
Marjan's time is running out! Once he is moved he will no longer be available for adoption. The place where he'll be moved is not a good situation for a 9 year old boy!
Do you have a place at your table for Marjan? Do you have room in your house for his bed? Do you think your kids could handle getting a few less gifts so that Marjan could know a family? Do you think your kids have the ability to learn compassion for another by welcoming a new brother into their home? Do you think you have the ability to love one more child?
If you would like more information about Marjan, you can contact Shelley at About A Child.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Time to move
Now that Axel is home, and learning to be part of our family, it's time to move back over to my main blog, Garden of Eagan. There you'll find me blogging about life with Angela and Axel together, along with all the other things our life involves, such as dogs, motorcycles and general insanity. I will keep this blog open as I continue to post updates about Ianna.
I hope you'll all join me over on my other blog!
I hope you'll all join me over on my other blog!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
a dry post
When I took Axel from the foster home, I was told he was fully potty trained during the day, but night time he just had no concept of. He would wake up dry on occasion, but he wasn't consistant enough for his foster mother to consider leaving him without a diaper at night.
The first four nights that I had him he woke up SOAKED every morning. S.O.A.K.E.D. I was really glad I'd brought pull-ups along. But the fifth morning he woke up dry! And again the 6th...and 7th...and every night after that. I was hopeful about what would happen when we got home, because I could see what the problem was. Axel still has one main left over institutional behavior: he will not leave his bed until he's given permission to do so. That means if he woke up to go to the bathroom he couldn't/wouldn't. The first four nights with me I'd let him play in his bed for awhile before forcing myself to get up. After that I started getting up with him as SOON as he appeared awake so that I could get him to the bathroom right away. That's when he started staying dry.
When we got home I bought a month's worth of pull ups, figuring I'd let him get used to the routine of the household before trying to ditch the nigh time diaper. But three days before Christmas Axel showed us he was ready, and confirmed the problem of him not coming out of his room without permission. So that night I told him, "No diapers tonight." and I mimed being asleep, then needing to wake up to use the bathroom, then OPENING the bedroom door to go to the bathroom. (we sleep with bedroom doors closed here.)
The next morning he woke up with a soaked bed, which I knew he would. But there was more...there was a puddle in the carpet NEXT to the bed. Hmmm...that means he got up, pulled down his pants, and peed! I took his hand and touched his wet pajamas. "Wet" I signed, making an icky face. He looked at me like, "What did you pour in my bed????" I showed him the puddle next to the bed, and signed "pee", and also pointed to his wet pajamas. Then I took him into the bathroom, and told him "pee in the toilet." as we got the wet pajamas off of him.
The next morning he woke up dry.
And the next up at my parents, although I did put a pull up on him while sleeping, he still woke up dry.
Tonight he went to bed diaper free again.
We're still having to get him to the bathroom as soon as we hear him wake up. Although we like the fact he will stay in his room until being told he can come out, it would be really nice if we could get him to get himself to the bathroom in the morning.
The first four nights that I had him he woke up SOAKED every morning. S.O.A.K.E.D. I was really glad I'd brought pull-ups along. But the fifth morning he woke up dry! And again the 6th...and 7th...and every night after that. I was hopeful about what would happen when we got home, because I could see what the problem was. Axel still has one main left over institutional behavior: he will not leave his bed until he's given permission to do so. That means if he woke up to go to the bathroom he couldn't/wouldn't. The first four nights with me I'd let him play in his bed for awhile before forcing myself to get up. After that I started getting up with him as SOON as he appeared awake so that I could get him to the bathroom right away. That's when he started staying dry.
When we got home I bought a month's worth of pull ups, figuring I'd let him get used to the routine of the household before trying to ditch the nigh time diaper. But three days before Christmas Axel showed us he was ready, and confirmed the problem of him not coming out of his room without permission. So that night I told him, "No diapers tonight." and I mimed being asleep, then needing to wake up to use the bathroom, then OPENING the bedroom door to go to the bathroom. (we sleep with bedroom doors closed here.)
The next morning he woke up with a soaked bed, which I knew he would. But there was more...there was a puddle in the carpet NEXT to the bed. Hmmm...that means he got up, pulled down his pants, and peed! I took his hand and touched his wet pajamas. "Wet" I signed, making an icky face. He looked at me like, "What did you pour in my bed????" I showed him the puddle next to the bed, and signed "pee", and also pointed to his wet pajamas. Then I took him into the bathroom, and told him "pee in the toilet." as we got the wet pajamas off of him.
The next morning he woke up dry.
And the next up at my parents, although I did put a pull up on him while sleeping, he still woke up dry.
Tonight he went to bed diaper free again.
We're still having to get him to the bathroom as soon as we hear him wake up. Although we like the fact he will stay in his room until being told he can come out, it would be really nice if we could get him to get himself to the bathroom in the morning.
Axel's first Christmas
Axel has been home almost two weeks now. Can you believe that? What a blessing God has given us in our new son. Not only get the gift of Axel, but we were fortunate enough to have him here for Christmas. God is so good!
Do you know how Axel met his Grandma Lundgren (my mom) for the first time? In front of the entire congregation at the small church she pastors up in Northern Minnesota. My sister thought up the great idea to surprise Mom and all of us go up north, (four hour drive from my house) and show up for Mom's Christmas Eve service. Axel was a little worried when I started packing a bag, and Dean and Tyler started loading up the car. Do you suppose he was praying we weren't going on one of those airplane things again? LOL
She was SO surprised (and had to preach after several minutes of tears. :-) She stepped before the church to introduce us to the family most of them have never seen before, and certainly not all at one time! Then she asked me to bring Axel up, since her church had prayed for him and for me while I was in Serbia.
Axel walked to the pulpit, turned and gave a big, "HI!" to the congregation. Then he jabbered to Grandma for a minute, in the sweetest voice that could be heard through the mic my mom was wearing.
After church we went back to my parent's home for dinner that my sister had brought up with her. In the morning Dean and I made breakfast for everyone, then it was time for sliding! My brother has been just dying to take Axel sliding down what is possibly the best run in all of Minnesota, which, by the way, just happens to be my parent's driveway! Axel LOVED sliding!!! Angela loves it too, and went down by herself twice, both times crashing face first into a snowbank. LOL Axel even went down alone once, and didn't even cry when he, too, went face first into the snow!
It was decided this was the new Lundgren Christmas tradition!
When everyone was sufficiently exhausted from trudging back up the hill, it was time to load up the car and head back home to spend time with Dean's family. Can you imagine what was going through Axel's mind when we started loading up the car AGAIN? Not only did we have to drive the 4 hour drive home, but we were only home for about 45 minutes before getting in the car again. POOR KID!
Ah, but we went somewhere Axel has been dying to go back to. THE BOWLING ALLEY!
Oh, he was SO EXCITED that he was going to get to bowl! He was NOT a happy camper when I told him "wait" instead of just letting him get up there and do what he wanted. (when Axel is not happy with me, he gives me a look that says I am clearly the most evil person in all the world.) Finally it was his turn. We let him try with Angela's very light (5 lb) ball, but that was really too much for him. Dean's brother had arranged stuff before we got there and made sure there was a ramp available. I would walk Axel up to the ramp and set the ball on. Together we'd count to three, then he'd give it a shove. Oh he was SO THRILLED to watch those pins fall. I can't wait until he gets a little bigger and can hold the ball himself.
Bowling done, it was time for dinner and Wii at Dean's sisters. Axel is going to be a video game junkie. I'll have pictures and videos to post soon. To say he had fun is an understatement.
Finally it was time to end the day. It was Christmas night, and Santa still needed to visit OUR house! LOL This morning it took him a bit to understand the whole gift opening thing. Clearly they have saved wrapping paper at his foster home because he did NOT want to rip that stuff today! Still, he was very happy with the kids' camera he received, along with duplos and some animals figurines, and a toy guitar. He is one happy boy!
We cannot get over how quickly Axel is integrating into our family. Clearly his foster parents did some great things with him and for him. But Serbia is still a different world, one that does not hold the same opportunities for a child with Down syndrome. I think Axel has experienced more FUN in his last 10 days that he did in his previous 10 1/2 years.
Do you know how Axel met his Grandma Lundgren (my mom) for the first time? In front of the entire congregation at the small church she pastors up in Northern Minnesota. My sister thought up the great idea to surprise Mom and all of us go up north, (four hour drive from my house) and show up for Mom's Christmas Eve service. Axel was a little worried when I started packing a bag, and Dean and Tyler started loading up the car. Do you suppose he was praying we weren't going on one of those airplane things again? LOL
She was SO surprised (and had to preach after several minutes of tears. :-) She stepped before the church to introduce us to the family most of them have never seen before, and certainly not all at one time! Then she asked me to bring Axel up, since her church had prayed for him and for me while I was in Serbia.
Axel walked to the pulpit, turned and gave a big, "HI!" to the congregation. Then he jabbered to Grandma for a minute, in the sweetest voice that could be heard through the mic my mom was wearing.
After church we went back to my parent's home for dinner that my sister had brought up with her. In the morning Dean and I made breakfast for everyone, then it was time for sliding! My brother has been just dying to take Axel sliding down what is possibly the best run in all of Minnesota, which, by the way, just happens to be my parent's driveway! Axel LOVED sliding!!! Angela loves it too, and went down by herself twice, both times crashing face first into a snowbank. LOL Axel even went down alone once, and didn't even cry when he, too, went face first into the snow!
It was decided this was the new Lundgren Christmas tradition!
When everyone was sufficiently exhausted from trudging back up the hill, it was time to load up the car and head back home to spend time with Dean's family. Can you imagine what was going through Axel's mind when we started loading up the car AGAIN? Not only did we have to drive the 4 hour drive home, but we were only home for about 45 minutes before getting in the car again. POOR KID!
Ah, but we went somewhere Axel has been dying to go back to. THE BOWLING ALLEY!
Oh, he was SO EXCITED that he was going to get to bowl! He was NOT a happy camper when I told him "wait" instead of just letting him get up there and do what he wanted. (when Axel is not happy with me, he gives me a look that says I am clearly the most evil person in all the world.) Finally it was his turn. We let him try with Angela's very light (5 lb) ball, but that was really too much for him. Dean's brother had arranged stuff before we got there and made sure there was a ramp available. I would walk Axel up to the ramp and set the ball on. Together we'd count to three, then he'd give it a shove. Oh he was SO THRILLED to watch those pins fall. I can't wait until he gets a little bigger and can hold the ball himself.
Bowling done, it was time for dinner and Wii at Dean's sisters. Axel is going to be a video game junkie. I'll have pictures and videos to post soon. To say he had fun is an understatement.
Finally it was time to end the day. It was Christmas night, and Santa still needed to visit OUR house! LOL This morning it took him a bit to understand the whole gift opening thing. Clearly they have saved wrapping paper at his foster home because he did NOT want to rip that stuff today! Still, he was very happy with the kids' camera he received, along with duplos and some animals figurines, and a toy guitar. He is one happy boy!
We cannot get over how quickly Axel is integrating into our family. Clearly his foster parents did some great things with him and for him. But Serbia is still a different world, one that does not hold the same opportunities for a child with Down syndrome. I think Axel has experienced more FUN in his last 10 days that he did in his previous 10 1/2 years.
Christmas
Axel had his fist American Christmas, which included sledding at Gramma and Grampa Lundgren's house. Here is is on his first run down the hill with Uncle Lynn.
For those reading this months or years after the post was made, just one week after this sledding adventure we had Axel's neck X-rays done to screen for AAI (Atlanto Axial Instability) something that occurs in approximately 10% of kids with Down syndrome. What we didn't know on that day of sledding was that we could have killed him. His X-rays and the following week and MRI showed that he was just a cough or sneeze away from catastrophic injury. If you're adopting a child with Down syndrome over age three, please get them screened before doing activities like we did! In May 2011 Axel underwent cervical spinal fusion and was in a halo brace for several months.
For those reading this months or years after the post was made, just one week after this sledding adventure we had Axel's neck X-rays done to screen for AAI (Atlanto Axial Instability) something that occurs in approximately 10% of kids with Down syndrome. What we didn't know on that day of sledding was that we could have killed him. His X-rays and the following week and MRI showed that he was just a cough or sneeze away from catastrophic injury. If you're adopting a child with Down syndrome over age three, please get them screened before doing activities like we did! In May 2011 Axel underwent cervical spinal fusion and was in a halo brace for several months.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sleep stuff. Questions for YOU
So, I have dealt with obstructive sleep apnea with Angela (ok, and maybe myself. Shhhh) and can recognize it.
So what would you make of a kid who flops like a fish all.night.long. Like every 3 minutes he flops. But, he doesn't snore. Not even a tiny bit! He just flops his whole body around. I haven't noticed an apnea episodes, but again, there is no snoring (or cessation of snoring) to cue me when he would be having an episode.
Most of the time when I check on him, he's sleeping with his whole head (and sometimes upper body) hanging off the bed. The fact that he puts himself into this position frequently makes me wonder if something doesn't happen to his airway when he's sleeping, and being in this position is his way of keeping it open. If I put him back in the middle of his bed, he returns to hanging within a few minutes.
Any thoughts? I know a sleep study is in his future, but that will be a couple months off, at least! And..you know...I'm just plain curious! LOL
So what would you make of a kid who flops like a fish all.night.long. Like every 3 minutes he flops. But, he doesn't snore. Not even a tiny bit! He just flops his whole body around. I haven't noticed an apnea episodes, but again, there is no snoring (or cessation of snoring) to cue me when he would be having an episode.
Most of the time when I check on him, he's sleeping with his whole head (and sometimes upper body) hanging off the bed. The fact that he puts himself into this position frequently makes me wonder if something doesn't happen to his airway when he's sleeping, and being in this position is his way of keeping it open. If I put him back in the middle of his bed, he returns to hanging within a few minutes.
Any thoughts? I know a sleep study is in his future, but that will be a couple months off, at least! And..you know...I'm just plain curious! LOL
Sign Count
Today, since officials paid a visit to the house, I decided to do a sign count and see where Axel is at. This is a list of signs Axel recognizes, and the ones with an * are the ones he uses on his own without prompting and in the correct context.
Axel's sign count 12/22/10
1.all done*
2.Angela*
3.apple
4.Axel*
5.banana*
6.bath*
7.bathroom (toilet)*
8.bed*
9.boots*
10.bye*
11.car*
12.cereal*
13.coat*
14.cookie*
15.diaper*
16.dog
17.drink*
18.eat*
19.garbage*
20.get dressed*
21.go (leave)
22.hat*
23.help*
24.hi*
25.home*
26.lights on/off*
27.make bed
28.mama*
29.milk*
30.more*
31.movie*
32.no*
33.orange*
34.papa*
35.pajamas
36.play*
37.please
38.pop*
39.sandwich*
40.scissors*
41.shirt*
42.shower*
43.shoes*
44.sign
45.socks*
46.stop*
47.store
48.table
49.telephone*
50.toy
51.tree*
52.t-shirt
53.TV*
54.underwear
55.yes
56.zip*
That is 56 more words than he could understand just three weeks ago. That is 43 more words than he could use to make his wants and needs known.
Axel's sign count 12/22/10
1.all done*
2.Angela*
3.apple
4.Axel*
5.banana*
6.bath*
7.bathroom (toilet)*
8.bed*
9.boots*
10.bye*
11.car*
12.cereal*
13.coat*
14.cookie*
15.diaper*
16.dog
17.drink*
18.eat*
19.garbage*
20.get dressed*
21.go (leave)
22.hat*
23.help*
24.hi*
25.home*
26.lights on/off*
27.make bed
28.mama*
29.milk*
30.more*
31.movie*
32.no*
33.orange*
34.papa*
35.pajamas
36.play*
37.please
38.pop*
39.sandwich*
40.scissors*
41.shirt*
42.shower*
43.shoes*
44.sign
45.socks*
46.stop*
47.store
48.table
49.telephone*
50.toy
51.tree*
52.t-shirt
53.TV*
54.underwear
55.yes
56.zip*
That is 56 more words than he could understand just three weeks ago. That is 43 more words than he could use to make his wants and needs known.
One week "HOME"
The word "home" has several definitions, among them:
home:
1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.
2. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
3. any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.
How fitting that today, one week to the day that Axel arrived in the US, today after running errands with me, as we pulled into our drive way he hollered from the back seat, "HEY!" and then signed "HOME"!!!!!
Axel now knows this is "Home", and is excited when we return to it.
How I love this child. He is the most amazing little boy, created by God just for us. Every day God blesses us with the opportunity to see the wonder in Axel's eyes as he experiences something for the first time.
Like tracing the letter "A" all by himself.
Like putting a puzzle together, all by himself.
Like signing "TV" at me and the amazement in his eyes when I turn it on for him.
Like loving a dog who loves him back.
Like seeing papa coming to through the door, and the joy on Papa's face when he signs "Papa!"
Like swimming in a giant pool for the very first time.
Like watching Papa bowl, and cheering for every pin knocked down by every person in the entire alley.
Yes, this first week home has been a wondrous one, with experiences he's never even dreamed of, that weren't a possibility for him just one month ago.
One week home.
Thousands more to come.
home:
1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.
2. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
3. any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.
How fitting that today, one week to the day that Axel arrived in the US, today after running errands with me, as we pulled into our drive way he hollered from the back seat, "HEY!" and then signed "HOME"!!!!!
Axel now knows this is "Home", and is excited when we return to it.
How I love this child. He is the most amazing little boy, created by God just for us. Every day God blesses us with the opportunity to see the wonder in Axel's eyes as he experiences something for the first time.
Like tracing the letter "A" all by himself.
Like putting a puzzle together, all by himself.
Like signing "TV" at me and the amazement in his eyes when I turn it on for him.
Like loving a dog who loves him back.
Like seeing papa coming to through the door, and the joy on Papa's face when he signs "Papa!"
Like swimming in a giant pool for the very first time.
Like watching Papa bowl, and cheering for every pin knocked down by every person in the entire alley.
Yes, this first week home has been a wondrous one, with experiences he's never even dreamed of, that weren't a possibility for him just one month ago.
One week home.
Thousands more to come.
Meeting with the school district
Today the special ed. reps from the school district came to the house. Axel LOVED having new people here.
So, we have come up with a plan! First, we'll spend the month of January getting assessments done to figure out just where he's at. Of course the reports are always a deficiency model, and it won't even be completely accurate since he doesn't have a primary language. If he spoke or understood Serbia, we would assess him using that language. But he doesn't have Serbia, nor does he have enough ASL for it to be a good model. The end reports will be talking about the things he cannot do, but this is only a tiny picture of who Axel is. It will also give us a good baseline to measure by. Won't it be fascinating to test him a year from now and see how much he's gained?
Once the assessment is done we'll discuss the most appropriate placement for him, and how best to start him on his educational career given his chronological age PLUS his developmental age.
I'm so excited for Axel to be starting school. It's going to be fun watching him blossom with all the new things he's going to experience!
So, we have come up with a plan! First, we'll spend the month of January getting assessments done to figure out just where he's at. Of course the reports are always a deficiency model, and it won't even be completely accurate since he doesn't have a primary language. If he spoke or understood Serbia, we would assess him using that language. But he doesn't have Serbia, nor does he have enough ASL for it to be a good model. The end reports will be talking about the things he cannot do, but this is only a tiny picture of who Axel is. It will also give us a good baseline to measure by. Won't it be fascinating to test him a year from now and see how much he's gained?
Once the assessment is done we'll discuss the most appropriate placement for him, and how best to start him on his educational career given his chronological age PLUS his developmental age.
I'm so excited for Axel to be starting school. It's going to be fun watching him blossom with all the new things he's going to experience!
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