Join Angela, Axel, Abel and Asher as they welcome their new sibling home.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Choosing to see the good

I hope my friend won't mind, but an email I sent to her made for a good blog post that I'm choosing to post here. I think it's a good message about choosing to see the good when things don't seem to be going very well.
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I am choosing to see the good messages behind the bad things that happen.

When I went back to school, I applied for the DMS program. (aka Medical Sonography) But I was wait-listed. However, in order to improve my chanced to get in, I was enrolled in the BA Psychology program so I could get my generals done, and get my GPA up. That was one year ago.

Spring semester rolled around, and I was wait listed again, and again for this fall. In June I took the ACT's with all the other 17 year olds in the country (!) and scored a 24, and waited to hear if I'd get in for Spring 2011 semester. All of my generals are done, and there are no other non-program specific classes left for me to take unless I want to stay in the BA Psych program (I don't). I listed myself as "on leave" for fall semester, and waited to hear. Nervous, because we really need to travel in November for me to return to school in January.

And there is another problem that I hadn't thought about. If I return to school in January, it is all labs, most of which are only available during the day. We would just be home with Ianna.....how would I do that?

Last night I found out I've been wait-listed AGAIN for Spring semester. At first I was in tears when I got off the phone with admissions. Why should *I* have to wait an entire year when I have been working my tail off? I've maintained a high gpa, and proven myself. I cried because I keep getting beat out by these kids right out of high school with their high GPA's but no life experience who will be finding life-altering prenatal conditions and their reactions will be life altering for parents. I have been there. I know how their poor reactions destroy lives. And I cried because, for the first time ever I'm failing a class (algebra) and I have a migraine and it's just been a really bad day, and Dean had woken me from a sound sleep to take the call he knew I'd been waiting for.

And in the midst of my tears, I looked out the window just as a butterfly flew by, and then I remembered. If I don't get into the program in January, it is a BLESSING because there will be no pressure to figure out how to juggle schedules between Dean and I as we adjust to our new life with Ianna home.

Because Ianna will be home.

Today I made a tough call, but one I know I won't regret. I called the school admissions office, and told them to move me to the Fall 2011 list. That I was taking the entire year off. When I hung up the phone I felt like 1,000 pounds had been lifted off my shoulders.

Free.

Free to travel to bring Ianna home without a time issue for me to get back for school.

Free to schedule all her necessary medical appointments and surgeries when she gets home without worrying about my school schedule.

Free to bond with our new daughter uninterrupted by school, to support her through scary medical things, to homeschool her through her first year here, and watch her grow roots in her new family.

Free to travel with Angela for her spring training camp if she is chosen for the US Special Olympics Team.

Free to travel as a family to Greece to watch Angela participate in the World Special Olympics Games if she is chosen for the team.

I feel I followed God's command this first year of school, this toughest year of school, and am taking a much needed break to focus on Ianna. I know we're right where we should be, and I have no doubts about going back to school next fall. This year of school as been perfectly timed for us. The schedule worked out well for all three of us, and now I'll have a couple months off to finish the last of the adoption stuff. I feel like, by listening to God and making that call today, I was actually paying attention to his instructions.

Tonight after dinner, Dean and I were talking about some other adoption related decisions for our family, and how they relate to our upcoming homestudy visit and subsequent report. I hope that country on the other side of the world comes back from their summer vacation soon so I can start sharing DETAILS with you, because this one just might blow your socks off.


2 comments:

  1. YOU GO GIRL!! Great post and I don't mind at all!!

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  2. SO proud of you for making a tough decision and listening to what HE said....I sometimes struggle with that!

    I had a dream about your little lady the other night! Next time we talk...I'll share!

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