The adoption blogging community is full of families who are in various steps in the process of their adoptions, blogging as they go. Some are compiling their dossier like us, some are in country meeting their children for the first time, others are getting ready to come home, and others who have completed their adoption and are home loving their children.
When we choose to blog such a life-changing experience, we're opening ourselves to the comments and opinions of others. I know from following the journeys of others, and from watching my own family members adopt, that not everyone is going to be supportive of us. The comments left on other people's blogs are shocking, really. People who clearly have no idea how the process works (and that it works different in every country!) making nasty, horrid and judgmental statements.
Adopting is not easy, but if you're adopting an older child out of an institution, the process up until you bring your child home is a piece of cake compared to some of what can be expected once you get your child home. It is not a "happily ever after" kind of experience. These are children who have been abandoned, often abused, and need a lot of healing before they can be whole. Some never get there! But that is a chance those of us choosing to adopt these kids make. Sadly, parents who have chosen to blog about the difficult times with their newly added family members open themselves up to the opinions of total strangers. I've never allowed anonymous comments, and all my comments are moderated for this very reason.
I intend to keep it real when talking about our adoption experiences (as much as I can while still maintaining a certain level of privacy for the child we bring home!) We fully expect to run into "issues" bringing home a child who has spent her entire life in an institution, and we have our support system in place so we can (hopefully) act proactively instead of reactively when those issues do arise...and they will. I want you, my readers, to feel free to ask questions rather than make assumptions that are based on misconceptions or inaccurate information. And I am sure we will have plenty of questions for those who are reading who have gone before us!
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI for one am very proud of you and your family for bringing home Ianna, and for sharing your journey with the world. We have a glimpse into a place most of us will never see, never experience, never even think about as we go about our happy little lives.
For anyone to try to place what an adoptive family experiences into their own world is ludicrous. That would equate to me walking into the President's office and telling him how to run the country. I have no experience at it, and most commenters have no experience at adoption, let alone with a child who has been institutionalized in a foreign country.
Hold your head high, for you are not only saving Ianna, you are giving the medical community a chance to learn more about Apert Syndrome. You know Idaho has only 1 child with Apert's. He's just had a very successful reconstruction. I need to find that story and send it, since you know the family!
Sending you lots of prayers and hugs!
Lisa
Thank you for sharing your adoption journey. I read so many adoption blogs, and am always thankful to be let in on their amazing path. Opening yourself up by blogging can be hard, but I've met so many great friends through them that I'm so glad there are people willing to share.
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