Join Angela, Axel, Abel and Asher as they welcome their new sibling home.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

To bring him back

Tomorrow we have only one task on our schedule.

Tomorrow we must bring B back to the institution. It feels no different than if, after 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years we were to bring Axel and Asher back.

I cannot begin to tell you how this is tearing our hearts apart.

In just two and a half days he has learned....

He has learned to wait patiently for food.

He has learned food is prepared in a kitchen.

He has learned there are such things as cabinets and refrigerators where food is stored, and no matter that you close the door, when you open it again the food is still there.

He has learned there is no reason to cry while waiting while food is prepared.

He has learned that we will not forget about him.

He has learned that being with us means he will never be hungry.

He has learned we are here to comfort him.  There is no need to comfort himself by rocking.

He has learned to express joy and pleasure, and does so by humming.

He has learned to get attention he doesn't need to do anything, he only needs to BE.

He has learned to feel pride in himself.

He has learned at 10 years old he doesn't need to wear a diaper. He can tell us and we will get him to the bathroom.

He has learned the pleasure of a walk in the sunshine with his family.

He has learned there is always enough to drink.

He has learned to eat with a fork.

He has learned that he can take a drink and set it down, or take a bite of food and put his fork down, and nobody will take his food or drink from him.

He has learned there is no reason to steal food from anyone else, because there is enough to satisfy him.

He has learned to trust.

He has learned to receive affection.

He has expressed his desire to give affection.

In just two and a half days he has learned all these things. But there is one thing we could not promise him. We could not promise him he could stay with us forever because tomorrow we must bring him back.

Tomorrow he will know hunger again.

Tomorrow he will know chronic thirst again.

Tomorrow he will have to comfort himself again.

Tomorrow he will rock himself to sleep again.

Tomorrow he will wonder where we went.


  1. Oh God, Leah, I didn't even think about that. I was so excited you guys would get him for the weekend, not even understanding that he would have to go back. How heartbreaking. I'm totally in tears right now, for him. You guys will be ok, but the tears are for him. :o(

  2. Oh dear God this is so sad. How long til he is yours?