Join Angela, Axel, Abel and Asher as they welcome their new sibling home.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Second visit: Harder than the first

This morning my facilitator and I walked around the city center for quite some time. I have no clue why I didn't bring my camera. It's a darling area of town! Many many shops, and an area of "no traffic zone" which is kind of like the Nicollet Mall area for those from the Twin Cities.

When we were done, it was time to go see Axel. I put some different toys in my bag for today, trying to keep things interesting you know! The first toy I brought out was a matchbox motorcycle. Axel and I played with that together with yesterday's cars.

Then his foster mother brought out some pictures from his 9th birthday a year ago. As she did so, I realized just how perfect my gift for them was! They do not have a camera of their own, and the few pictures they have are cherished! The pictures she showed me were the same ones she showed me back in April. There were only a couple of new ones. The gift I got for them was a new digital camera, along with a small tripod, case, and extra memory card. Axel's foster mother was THRILLED! I told her I knew they would want to take pictures of him before he leaves. And, while on our walk earlier I'd spotted a place where they can bring the memory card to have prints made.

Next I brought out the talking photo album. Axel was delighted with it, and his social worker and case manager were intrigued by it! My facilitator, after seeing him play with the iPad yesterday, and this photo album today, said, "You have the most interesting gadgets for him. I love it!"

I saved the toy I somehow knew would be is favorite. I'll be keeping this set aside for moments of desperation in airports, etc! Of course, the toy found in the dollar bin at Walmart is the favorite, right?
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He played with this for quite some time. (I'll have to find batteries before we get on that plane! LOL) and showed everyone. In this picture he's sitting with his social workers, and suddenly looked over at his foster mother. I am oblivious, because they're speaking in another language. It wasn't until later I understood the significance of this picture. Someone in the room has just started talking about Axel going home with me.
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Still unknown to me what the topic of conversation is, Axel moved to the lap of his foster mother. When I saw her start to tear up, I knew without anyone having to tell me, they were discussing Axel leaving. It is clear that his foster parents care for him very much, and will be sad to let him go.
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Just then, I am asked, "Do you think you will be ok with taking him tomorrow?"

Tomorrow! Tomorrow I will take custody of Axel! Just two visits and I am his mother. Yes, I am ready to take him tomorrow, but is his foster mother ready? Is Axel ready? There is a quick conversation about weather or not I need any clothes for him (I have everything he needs, just need to make sure it all fits, but I'm confident I was at least very close in sizing!) I said no, I think I have everything, when is saw the foster mother's face. "Unless he has something, like a favorite shirt? I bet he would like if you send that!" I said.

Please pray for me tonight when you go to bed. While you are dreaming of sugar plums, I will be trying to hold myself together so I do not turn into a puddle of tears! Axel is very sensitive to the emotions of others, and it will not be good for him to see both his foster mother and I crying! Oh Lord, please PLEASE give me more strength than you ever have before!!! I thought adopting was hard, but taking Axel away from the people he clearly loves is going to be the most difficult step!!!

Although I will take custody of Axel tomorrow, there is much to be done. I will still be here in this city until approximately Wednesday or Thursday of next week.

13 comments:

  1. OMGoodness, YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Now here I sit in a puddle of tears. Soooo excited!!!

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  2. Oh my goodness! Been there, done that. You will do fine! THIS I know!

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  3. Oh Leah, he is precious! I am praying for you friend. I cannot tell you how great it is to see the pictures. And I know well how hard it is for kids to leave the only place they know and go be witha complete stranger. t has to be even harder for Axel as he has been able to live in a home and not an orphanage.
    Sending you BIG hugs!

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  4. I just can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is going to be. I'm tearing up thinking about it. Just remember, he will settle in with time, and that you are giving him an amazing and stable home. :-)

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  5. Oh Leah, I will be praying. I was wondering how it would be taking him from a home. It must be such a different process than taking a child from an orphanage. I also wonder how much he truly understands about his foster family not being his actual family...and with the language barrier...how confusing this all must be to him. I will be praying for sweet Axel....and I have to say.....he reminds me of my Danny just a bit more grown up!! Same handsome face and similiar expressions:)

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  6. Totally Love Him! Sending {{Hugs}} and prayers for a smooth as possible transition! You can do it Momma!

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  7. Oh Leah, I'm balling my eyes out in anticipation of you and Axel walking away from his foster home, forever. I'm so happy for you that you will get to have him with you, that the two of you can really start to get to know each other and bond. I am SO VERY happy that he has been so loved during this time that he has been with his foster family, and that the love is so aparent. I miss my foster son teribly, but was so happy that his family was reunited, there was never any doubt in my mind that they all belonged together. We were sad, but it was a peaceful sad, don't worry foster mom will be okay.

    Love and blessing for a gentel transition.

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  8. Wow! Congrats! We adopted our son from the states it was private but he lived with his foster family for 3 months. I felt like I was taking what was theirs. I knew he was my son but it was different, awkward. His foster mama and I cried in spurts and only a few tears here and there, but really we spent all our time while we were in his state adopting him with the foster family. Now we have an amazing relationship. We see each other when we can and write, email, text and call often. I send her pictures and she keeps up with us from our blog. I felt it was best for our child to have people who love him in his life. Plus our child has special needs and his foster mother was an amazing asset to us medically. She never tries to parent him or tell us we are doing things wrong. I hope you can foster some kind of relationship with his foster family as well.

    Be blessed
    Ashlee
    http://ourjourneytoadoption.beckfamily143.com/

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  9. So funny, my boys have that same toy. They LOVED it so much it got worn out and broken, LOL.

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  10. Leah, Congratulations....he is just beautiful! My heart goes out to you as take Axel with you soon. He does not know what wonderful things await him with you and Dean! I am so happy that he has had a family to love him until you came! What a wonderful gift you have been given!

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  11. love the pics!! wishing you lots of patience tomorrow :) good luck!!

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  12. He looks so sweet! Will be praying for all of you! I can't even imagine how hard it will be.

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  13. Oh Leah! I can honestly say that I totally agree with you that taking him away from his foster family is the hardest thing! I don't think I had ever felt that kind of pain....taking Vladan away felt so wrong. In my head, I knew it was the best thing for him, but my heart felt so guilty for hurting his foster mom. I'm sorry you had to feel that too! But we are praying for you...and will be the whole while you are there and once you get home!

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